Thursday, March 15, 2012

Transfer Day, the sequel

Today is 1dp5dt. I apologize for not posting sooner, but my body decided to follow the RE's instructions and I ended up sleeping for most of the day. I'e read all of your comments and emails, so thank you for the support. Today I'm feeling a bit more awake, but the events from yesterday feel like a dream.

With my first IVF cycle, I remember being very anxious. I was anxious about the suppression check, anxious about not growing follicles, anxious about not getting good quality eggs, anxious about fertilization, anxious about embryos surviving, anxious about the cycle failing and anxious about being anxious. This time around, I've been calmer. Partly because we have snowbabies. But also because I'm tired of the anxiety. Being anxious is exhausting.

Yesterday, I woke up at 7am, greeted by these two.


As you can see, food is the most important thing at 7 am.

I then spent the morning finishing a few more things on my list, knowing full well that I was going to be confined to the couch later and nothing productive was going to be done. Finally, Grey and I traveld to the clinic with me holding my breath the whole way.

Upon arrival to the clinic, I had a flash back to the first transfer day. I remember waiting patiently for Dr. Optimism, wandering down a hallway I hadn't noticed before and finally seeing images of my embryos. I remember marveling at how beautiful they were, putting out the ICM and being surprised that 2 were getting ready to hatch. I had seen textbook images of embryos, but never ones as clear as these and at that moment I was so proud of them. Outside of me needing to fill my bladder more, the transfer was painless and quick.

This time was very similar. Dr. Practical was in charge of the transfer and the wait was a lot shorter. This was fortunate for me, as my bladder was full. So full that everyone in the room had a good chuckle. The rest of the experience was the same, with the transfer only taking 15 minutes and me then spending an extra 20 relaxing and allowing these two a chance to orient to their new home. Both Grey and me marveling how it felt like December all over again.

But it wasn't. Unlike last time, I wasn't recovering from retrieval, I wasn't dealing with a lot of unknowns, Grey and I knew exactly where to go and what to ask for. And, most importantly, we got pictures of these:

Two beautiful 5 day blastocytes. The one on the right is 5AA, the one on the left is 5BB.

Dr. Practical handed Grey the cover to the petri dish they were thawed in as a keepsake. And waiting for me after the transfer were these images as well as a copy from the ones before. Both Grey and I got teary eyed when we realized what this group was doing for us: they were giving us reminders to have hope.

Today will be spent meditating, using these images to connect with my snowbabies. Today will be a day that I spend giving thanks for the opportunity have these two inside me. Today I will have hope.

23 comments:

  1. I am so happy for you. This sounds like an amazing transfer, and you're spending the day at home, meditating. I have lots of hope for you too.

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  2. They are absolutely beautiful! I find myself pulling out picture of our little embryos and staring at them throughout the day.

    I am hoping that this cycle gives you everything you want and more. Thinking of you and the little ones.

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  3. Awwww, they're adorable! Hoping along with you :)

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  4. So hopeful with you! Meditate away!

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  5. You're embryos are beautiful. I hope they're both settling in nicely with their momma. :)

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  6. Yay yay yay! Hoping these little beauties grab on tight for you!

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  7. Lovely, wonderful snowbabies! I'm so glad you are just trying to relax. I think we need to remember that there is nothing we can do at that point. The embies will stick or they won't. You can be good to yourself and hope for the best.
    I'll be here hoping for you too.

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  8. I'm all for meditation/visualization! They are gorgeous embryos and it all sounds like it went well. I'm going to be hoping, praying and visualizing this is THE cycle for you my friend. Sending you luck & love!!!

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  9. Hi... here from Cyclesistas :)) Wonderful news about your transfer... you have gorgeous looking embies and great that you're feeling calm. Love your socks too :)) FXd for you for your 2WW. I have a private blog but happy for fellow blogging IFers to join me :) Just email me via newyearmum@gmail.com and I'll send you an access link... my updater blog (to get posts via Reader or RSS is newyearmum2.blogspot.com. Looking forward to sharing this journey with you xoxo

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  10. Crossing my fingers for you that this is the start of 40-ish weeks of drama-free, minimal anxiety happiness.
    Much love!

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  11. You sound like you're in a great mental airfield, Cristy. I've got so much love for you, Grey and the wee blasts. Thank you for posting the pictures of them! I was so curious to know what they looked like. They are stunningly gorgeous! They look like little kaleidescopes, if that's not a weird thing to say. I'm going to go ahead and visualize for you too. :) xoxoxoxoxox

    Keep calm, my friend. And carry on. :)

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  12. Those are BEAUTIFUL blasts. I would have TONS of hope if I could ever transfer blasts like that! :) The one on the right looks ready to hatch already. Best of luck!!!! I'm thinking sticky thoughts for you.

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  13. Hi! New follower. I found you from The Elusive Second Line. I just love embie pics. They are beautiful. Hoping and praying those little embies dig in deep! That was so nice of them to give you reminders of hope!

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  14. Beautiful! I'm so glad they were able to give you photos!! Hope the next 10 days go quickly and everything works out perfectly. I'll be thinking of you.

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  15. It sounds like you are doing beautifully. And finding that peace on the inside and out, is only going to help you during these next days. And weeks. And months.

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  16. They're beautiful Cristy! I'm so happy things went well and that you have a peace about this cycle.

    I love that your clinic has been so thoughtful, people like that certainly make ALL the difference!

    Snuggle up with them this weekend, so excited for you and I am here with you believing in hope!

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  17. Wow, that is so unbelievable! What neat pictures...

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  18. Your embryos look wonderful, Cristy! I am so glad you've felt calmer this time around, because yeah, anxiety is exhausting. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days and hoping your embryo(s) are making themselves at home.

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  19. Man, they are beautiful! Sending good vibes to you and Grey!

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  20. So hopeful for you, Cristy. Just found your blog and will be following your journey! Hope you have a relaxing dy meditating and connecting with your beautiful embabies.

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  21. Gorgeous embies! I have so much hope for you! Lots of love to you all!

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