Friday, July 6, 2012

Just when you think you've got it all figured out . . .

Today I had an appointment with Dee. Following the news on Monday, Grey thought it would be worth mentioning to her what we learned about the agency we had chosen to see if she had any suggestions. Honestly, we both expected her to give me the this-is-the-way-things-go speech. So you can imagine my surprise (and delight) when she looked at me cross-eyed.

Dee: "16 months? Really?"

Me: "Yep"

Dee: "Why so long?"

Me: "No clue, other than a number of couples that had been on the wait-list for so long finally were picked. Oh, and they told us to hold off on the homestudy until after we move."

Dee: "Meaning hold off for a year. So, instead, the process would take you ~ 2 yrs"

Me (fighting back tears): "Yes."

Cue eye-roll from Dee.

Before I continue, I need to take a moment to again point out how amazing it's been to have a therapist who specializes in infertility/loss and adoption. Dee has helped me through both miscarriages and a failed FET. I shudder to think about where I would be mentally and emotionally without her help. In short, this woman is awesome. I really didn't think she could get much better.

And then I saw what came next.

Following recovering from her eye-roll, Dee launched into a lecture about "homestudy updates" and how this agency's reasoning was probably wrong. During this time, she fished out her laptop and opened up her contact list. After doing some typing, she looked at me.

Dee: "Cristy, have you and Grey thought about private adoption?"

Me (gulping): "Yes. But all the stories I've heard have been scary. The scams, the possibility for getting yourself into legal trouble quickly. The fail rates. We figured it would be better to go through an agency. Why?"

Dee: "Because I think you two are great candidates for it. It's faster, it's a bit more hands and, with the right people, it can be a very positive experience. Just as it was for my husband and me."

Dee then shared her adoption story with me. I knew she had adopted and is a huge advocate for the process. But I didn't know the details. When she finished, she pulled out her notepad and began to write. Within 2 minutes, I was staring at two names, A and P, and contact information.

Dee: "I've known A and P for 20 yrs. They are highly skilled and I think they've started an agency. Contact them. I think you and Grey would really enjoy working with them."

I spent the rest of our session alternating between laughter and tears.


Following my session, I texted Grey. Within 5 texts, he called me, surprised about the information. At one point, he asked if I was certain about my information. When I told him, "it's coming from Dee," he stopped and started to laugh.


This afternoon, both Grey and I got into contact with A and P (I called A and he called P). A and I chatted for 20 minutes and she asked if we would be willing to meet her in August. Grey talked with P and, in addition to sending him some resources, told him that she'd be more than happy to do our homestudy. 


So, as of today, we are no longer on hold. At the end of my session, I promised Dee that we wouldn't push the process and that we would also focus on healing. But now I feel like there's a purpose. 


Aw, life. How I love you. Let it never be said that it's been boring.

25 comments:

  1. I am so glad that your meeting with Dee was so helpful. Sounds amazing to me!

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  2. Wow Cristy!! This sounds like a really great lead, I'm so excited for you guys! I can't wait to hear more about the process. Doesn't life work in amazing ways?! Thank goodness for that Dee!

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  3. Sounds great! I hope it all goes smoothly and fast -- I'm interested to hear about the process; it's not a route I know much about.
    --Teresa

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  4. That sounds like fabulous news! My old initials were AP and everyone at work calls me that! Maybe A&P will be your good luck charms!

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  5. Exciting!! So glad you're moving forward again!!

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  6. Wow!!! That is such awesome news!! I am sooooo thrilled for you guys and so excited to watch your grand adventure unfold over the next few weeks/months. Sending you HUGE hugs! So thankful you have such an awesome therapist!

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  7. This is awesome Cristy!!!!! So excited for you guys!!!

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  8. My heart just swelled so big it about burst out of my chest. Its finally *your* turn Christy.

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  9. Wow, what a turnaround. I hope these people is a good match to work with for you. How exciting!! I'm looking forward to see where all this leads :)

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  10. That's great, Cristy! I'm so glad you aren't on hold anymore and can move forward with this. Super exciting!

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  11. I read this post and for the first time in a while it made my heart smile. After everything you guys have gone through and it looks like things are finally turning the corner. I am so freaking excited for you and cant wait to see how thing continue!

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  12. This is so exciting! Thank God for good IF therapists. :)

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  13. Wow... that certainly changes things up now, doesn't it? So happy you guys have the strength to see this new path through, and tremendously glad it may take much less time than initially expected. You've waited FAR long enough.

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  14. Amazing! This is wonderful news!

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  15. My eyes welled up reading this. I find it amazing how people are put in your life and things happen when you least expect it.

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  16. Wow! Great news! I'm so excited for you and Grey!

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  17. Oh WOW!!! That is HUGE news! Please keep us updated on how everything is going!!!

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  18. Here from LFCA- great news :-)

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  19. This is a wonderful step for you and Grey, Cristy. I was so bummed to hear earlier that you would have to put things on hold.
    You are very lucky to have Dee in your life. She sounds amazing.
    :)
    ~Keisha~

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  20. Never a dull moment huh? Wow! Reading this brought a smile to my face. I feel so hopeful for you and I'm rooting for you both so much! I'm always amazed at how life-changing help can sometimes come from someone hiding in plain sight. :) Lots of love to you both! Wishing you time to heal and renewed hope!

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  21. This is great news! I am so happy for you and Grey. Please keep us posted.

    Loving this new design. xoxo

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  22. Totally stoked to read this post!!

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  23. Wow! Great news! I hope this is the path you've been looking for!

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