tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post2064838742339582941..comments2023-04-04T07:26:09.997-07:00Comments on Searching for our silver lining: The "I'll never"sCristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-17549923206190052562018-05-19T22:29:56.305-07:002018-05-19T22:29:56.305-07:00Hear hear. I think infertility is one piece, trau...Hear hear. I think infertility is one piece, trauma is another huge piece too. I catch myself overreacting at random moments and recollect my bargains as well... but also tearfully admit that my voice sounded too much like that of one of my angry caregivers’ from when I was a child...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14896931627340645963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-51682217388813184912017-10-15T15:42:49.380-07:002017-10-15T15:42:49.380-07:00Here from Mel's round up. I thought I would ha...Here from Mel's round up. I thought I would have infinite patience as a parent because I had to wait so long and try so hard.<br /><br />Turns out I am still an impatient introvert who hates loud noises and can't think with someone talking at her. I try really hard but oh man. I decided that showing my kid I can apologize after losing my cool and teach him how to compromise is probably more useful than never losing my cool. Or at least that's what I tell myself!Turiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11694077473805539161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-8762341872707956812017-10-13T10:02:56.232-07:002017-10-13T10:02:56.232-07:00Oh yes, I have had many occasions with my own twin...Oh yes, I have had many occasions with my own twins when I have thought that I should be more patient/engaged/etc., due to my difficulty in having them. Wouldn't I do a superlative job as a parent in recognition of my gratitude at finally getting to that place?<br /><br />Turns out, I'm still the same me I was pre-parenthood, with the same foibles and challenges. Go figure. ;-)Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08872513410814268769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-59137582616931509592017-10-12T10:21:09.492-07:002017-10-12T10:21:09.492-07:00Another aspect: thinking that a current situation ...Another aspect: thinking that a current situation is a consequence (really, I mean punishment) for previous hubris in thinking "I'll never."<br /><br />Being human is hard, especially for perfectionists and pleasers. How to love all parts of ourselves? And be less judgmental, more compassionate within?Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-21830605444902582662017-10-12T06:33:52.608-07:002017-10-12T06:33:52.608-07:00Yes. Totally 100%. I'm with you, I've been...Yes. Totally 100%. I'm with you, I've been there. My son is very challenging, I have stood outside myself on occasion interacting with him in ways I am embarrassed about. Parenting is so hard. <br /> BabyBlueSundayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10950512228359479460noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-40138710022793799192017-10-12T03:17:45.986-07:002017-10-12T03:17:45.986-07:00Oh Cristy, the only person who will ever hold you ...Oh Cristy, the only person who will ever hold you to the bargains you think you made is you. I, of course, completely deny the "it wasn't meant to be" brigade, because those platitudes also logically mean that it WAS meant to be for every person who had a child, and there are so many cruel, neglectful and incompetent parents that just prove my point that this is not true. I've had to confront the untruth of these platitudes directly, for my own sanity and survival. You'll get there too.<br /><br />PS Infertility doesn't mean you have to be always grateful and happy. You're a parent, and children will test you. You're allowed to get angry. It's normal!Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.com