tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post3349713968752784759..comments2023-04-04T07:26:09.997-07:00Comments on Searching for our silver lining: Reflections on egg-freezingCristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-64820200647434821292014-11-13T02:49:31.665-08:002014-11-13T02:49:31.665-08:00I completely agree, Christy. What you said about b...I completely agree, Christy. What you said about buying passed to this roller coaster is so powerful. I fel the same way. Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15069220262683215373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-46193148383800812122014-11-05T18:34:16.442-08:002014-11-05T18:34:16.442-08:00Echoing all the others here. A big thank you, Cris...Echoing all the others here. A big thank you, Cristy, for adding your voice and experience to this complex topic. Appreciate all the added perspective from your blog readers, and thank you, too, for sharing the links to my pieces. Pamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-16125801600229449652014-11-04T11:32:50.762-08:002014-11-04T11:32:50.762-08:00I don't have much more to add in the way of co...I don't have much more to add in the way of comments, but I did want to say this was a great post, and I'm so glad you tackled the subject! loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-50557954865019294292014-10-30T20:14:31.251-07:002014-10-30T20:14:31.251-07:00Hear hear! Great post.Hear hear! Great post.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14896931627340645963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-83954009295195948882014-10-30T17:21:34.135-07:002014-10-30T17:21:34.135-07:00I am so thrilled that you have joined the discussi...I am so thrilled that you have joined the discussion on this issue. There are good things about egg freezing, but there are very disturbing things about the way it is being promoted too. One of the concerns I have is that women are unnecessarily (perhaps) exposing themselves to mega doses of hormones (as all of us who have tried IVF or medicated IUIs have) that bring risks. Yet I fear that those risks aren't raised with the young women who are the targets of those marketing egg freezing, and suspect that Apple and Fb and others who offer this to their staff are either unaware of the risks, or don't think that they matter. <br /><br />I hate that women have to make a choice - their careers, or becoming mothers - at any phase of their lives, and also that women who are trying to make their careers might be judged by others who are in different circumstances. We are all put in an impossible position - we're under pressure to find partners asap, or to achieve in our careers, or to put our careers on hold or sacrifice them completely to have children at the right time, or now - in the case of employers offering egg freezing - to put having children off to devote time to careers and companies, and risk never being able to have them. Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-37649692862616569272014-10-30T16:17:08.053-07:002014-10-30T16:17:08.053-07:00As someone whose infertility issues WERE related t...As someone whose infertility issues WERE related to egg quality, this is an interesting thought exercise for me. Thinking back to when I was in my 20s and starting my career, at the time I was fairly confident that I didn't want kids at all. So even if egg freezing had been offered to me for free back then, my lack of desire for kids, plus knowing that I'd have to inject myself with needles (huge needle phobia!) would probably have put me off enough that I wouldn't have done it. In a way, this probably would have made things even worse for me psychologically down the road once I changed my mind, started TTC, and realized I couldn't. Like, I had this option and I didn't take it, and now look at me. Also, like Maddie said above, I didn't delay kids for my career, I just didn't think about wanting them until I was with someone I wanted to have them with, and by that point I was already 35. I think if you're consciously putting off kids for your career then it's great to have that option, but a lot of us (most even?) aren't here because of that. We're here due to other circumstances.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-83286981062849731732014-10-30T12:01:18.614-07:002014-10-30T12:01:18.614-07:00I agree 100% with your POV. So few understand that...I agree 100% with your POV. So few understand that egg freezing is very new and untested, and I worry that women who freeze their eggs to buy themselves more time will be devastated when it doesn't work. After all, the general public still thinks that IVF = 100% success rate for a take-home baby which we all know is untrue.KH99https://www.blogger.com/profile/03103965236771370684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-3564914876964394812014-10-30T07:04:49.989-07:002014-10-30T07:04:49.989-07:00I know this is controversial idea, and I agree tha...I know this is controversial idea, and I agree that there is some gray areas about the motivations of employers funding egg freezing as a way to allow women to focus on their careers. However, as someone with DOR who's in the middle of a DE cycle, I really wish someone had offered to freeze my eggs when I was in my early twenties. Then maybe, just maybe, I'd be having a child with my genetics. I didn't put off having children for my career, I put off having children because I hadn't found the right person to have children with. This wouldn't have solved my IF problems either--freezing my eggs wouldn't have given my husband sperm. But it might have fixed something. <br /><br />I have two friends who have frozen their eggs on their own dime because they desperately want to have children but aren't married. One is recently divorced, in part because her husband announced that he no longer wanted children. Neither are wealthy, but this is a way for them to preserve their fertility. I am 100% certain that they understand the risks and they know it's not a guarantee, but it's better than waiting 5-10 years (they're both already in their mid-30s) and rolling the dice when it's well known, at least in my social circle, that your fertility declines rapidly in your 30s. <br /><br />I get frustrated because I feel like all the commentary is about women who are deliberately choosing to put off having children for their career. Most of the women I know didn't have children earlier because they didn't have someone to have children with. And most of the women I know who don't have children don't have an extra $15,000 to pay for egg freezing on their own and having an employer pay for it would probably be quite welcome. <br /><br />I feel like the lone voice out there, but if I had been able to have a daughter with my genes, I would have encouraged her to freeze her eggs just so she wouldn't have to go through what I have gone through because it's not fun. It's very expensive and it's very soul sucking. I think taking money out of the equation isn't such a horrible thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-9186059056799867322014-10-30T06:31:52.222-07:002014-10-30T06:31:52.222-07:00The whole egg freezing thing with Facebook and App...The whole egg freezing thing with Facebook and Apple is hard for me. On one hand, I think the publicity it's bringing to the idea of career and motherhood is important. It's making people stop and talk about this. It's making women honestly think about their fertile years. It's bringing attention to the fact that, despite what Hollywood ofter purports, motherhood in your late thirties and forties isn't as easy as it would appear. I think the attention and the discussion are good.<br /><br />However, this idea that one round of IVF and freezing some eggs gives you 10-20 years back is just crazy. A, most doctors will tell you that they're not too sure about quality after 10 years even with vitrification. B, the doctors will probably treat most of these women with a moderate protocol... no one wants OHSS. But 8 eggs is NOT a guaranteed chance at a baby for any woman at any age. And C, this is all assuming that infertility is directly related to egg quality, as you mentioned, and thus connected to age. For me, and a lot of others, it IS about egg quality, but that has nothing to do with age. I was 26 when I started infertility treatments. Allison was 23. Kim was 24. All three of us suffer from crappy eggs to one degree or another, but the logic that those who are pro egg freezing offer says that we are all still at the golden age to freeze. As two of the three chose egg donors thus far, I think that logic might be just a little flawed.<br /><br />Great post! Thanks for sharing!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11657607481465480125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-61436734621874435442014-10-30T06:10:37.754-07:002014-10-30T06:10:37.754-07:00"If someone told me 10 yrs ago that I had the..."If someone told me 10 yrs ago that I had the option of getting my babies and never having to go through IVF if I simply started trying earlier, I would have done that." - this! Yes! If only I had known that at 32 I'd have trouble (and still be having trouble at 34), oh how different my choices would have been... -PollyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-12629018676883712242014-10-30T02:37:01.929-07:002014-10-30T02:37:01.929-07:00I don't think egg freezing is the answer to IF...I don't think egg freezing is the answer to IF either, and hope that people that go into it are well informed that they are not exempt from any other problems besides egg quality. I worries me that women may be waiting even later than the mid -late 30s with this option, and possibly holing out until 40s thinking this is the cure all, but only then finding out what we all learned years ago and it takes a long time to research your own IF and take charge of fertility. I have a friend of 36 who still doesn't feel ready with her career and self employment, yet she believes it will happen when she wants it to, even though she knows my story. I hope it does work out for her, but I had to caution her based on my own past. I appreciate that some companies are covering egg freezing or other IF interventions, but I the reason is to work more, I disapprove. I lived and my husband worked in Silicon Valley for 8 years and I have seen the "perks" of companies there, that provide so many services you never have to leave the work place, gyms, salons, car repairs, daycare...I just don't value that lifestyle of living to work! But I do support women succeeding in the workplace! Tricky balance when were the only ones who can birth a child in between juggli a career. Laniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03494973592822062878noreply@blogger.com