tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post7848591959433333610..comments2023-04-04T07:26:09.997-07:00Comments on Searching for our silver lining: Smoke and mirrorsCristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-1840704933882737892012-02-17T09:16:07.480-08:002012-02-17T09:16:07.480-08:00I definitely identify with this. Before infertili...I definitely identify with this. Before infertility, I spent most of my life as a very open book (a lot like the people you're describing at parties, always willing to discuss myself). Now I'm much more likely to be the questioner, and I make conscious efforts to limit what I share about myself. I'd like to think this has made me a better person, though of course it would have been nice to have this change happen a different way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-79530706165763537422012-02-12T19:56:39.184-08:002012-02-12T19:56:39.184-08:00I so understand this. Your second point especially...I so understand this. Your second point especially hits home as it's been the only way I've been able to avoid any talk of our first IUI when we were in the tww and now when we're moving past so much. People really do love to talk about themselves and sometimes it's a welcome relief that it doesn't require much effort to avoid the spotlight on us. Whatever you decide to do in terms of telling the truth or the whole truth, do whatever feels best for you. *hugs*@EndoJourneyhttp://www.journeywithendometriosis.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-33551528581166672712012-02-11T08:18:08.073-08:002012-02-11T08:18:08.073-08:00This is a great post. Smoke and mirrors is right. ...This is a great post. Smoke and mirrors is right. I will say, I do find it freeing when I am honest about how I am feeling. But, time and place for everything right? I think you are being so strong and brave. Hang in there!Her Royal Fabulousnesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04008723588326617669noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-43122163263419167802012-02-10T13:15:57.689-08:002012-02-10T13:15:57.689-08:00Very well put.Very well put.Blythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00224232600830026497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-21756948118095071922012-02-10T12:15:56.920-08:002012-02-10T12:15:56.920-08:00And so are the days of my life too. Smoke and mirr...And so are the days of my life too. Smoke and mirrors. Love this post. We haven't told anyone yet that we'll be moving on to IVF and I'm still not sure if we will. I hope the mock transfer goes well and that you'll have a great Valentine's Day.Chanelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06167829668363460981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-18789510889506092632012-02-10T11:02:38.460-08:002012-02-10T11:02:38.460-08:00Good luck on the mock transfer. I hope AF decides...Good luck on the mock transfer. I hope AF decides to show up soon. I've given up on hiding my infertility. Maybe its because of my age but way too many folks now want to know why we don't have kids.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06316511791499949824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-10203832216251604202012-02-10T09:36:47.068-08:002012-02-10T09:36:47.068-08:00I need to see you in person soon to give you a big...I need to see you in person soon to give you a big squishy hug! On the subject of your post, I have noticed too in going through this that it is amazingly easy to deflect attention away from yourself in social settings. Most people are more than willing to talk about themselves when given the chance. I am sorry that your valentine's day is a date with the u/s and some Advil. Make sure Gray treats you to something nice afterwards...:)Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08892553888930861596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-19238193041038757332012-02-10T07:10:17.721-08:002012-02-10T07:10:17.721-08:00Great post. I love the conversational tactic of g...Great post. I love the conversational tactic of getting the other person to talk so you don't have to. I think a good strategy for fielding general questions about your well-being may be to always have something other than IF on hand to discuss. I'm totally saying that for myself because when I'm down and someone who doesn't know my story asks, I totally fumble for words because all I can think of is IF and loss. If I'm at work, I can talk about work, but sometimes don't know where to go with the convo in other settings.<br /><br />Wow, happy Valentine's Day to you! So romantic! Agh. Good luck with the mock transfer and patiently waiting for AF.Fieryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06477507213781894921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-16178192053527493692012-02-10T06:49:49.989-08:002012-02-10T06:49:49.989-08:00My husband and I kept...and continue to keep...our...My husband and I kept...and continue to keep...our infertility secret. We live in New England, and people here keep their medical stuff private to spare other people pain and embarrassment. My husband has had a lot of guys at work ask him if our twins are from IVF, and he says yes. It seems there is a LOT of infertility going around my husband's workplace among the men, which may be why our insurance covers infertility so well. I get casual people who ask if my twins are 'natural' or if I took 'those fertility drugs' to get pregnant, and I just divert those questions. I'm sure I've met IF people IRL without knowing it, but it might help if we had a secret handshake or something.Chickenpighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09442755180328605920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-5227037330008367952012-02-09T19:48:23.886-08:002012-02-09T19:48:23.886-08:00Good post. I think we all dodge and avoid some of ...Good post. I think we all dodge and avoid some of those questions sometimes. Even as important as it is to let people in on the secret that is infertility, it's just as important to get a break from being the 'infertile one' sometimes. It's okay to give ourselves an out. As long as we aren't hiding and ashamed, we can play the illusionist every once in a while.ADSchillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13972164121690415796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-7345315715967372672012-02-09T18:11:27.299-08:002012-02-09T18:11:27.299-08:00It's amazing that us IF'ers can spot each ...It's amazing that us IF'ers can spot each other, isn't it?! I am starting to learn, the hard way, that sometimes it's ok to say, I'm not ok. <br /><br />Obviously not to every random person who asks, but sometimes we have to let our guard down a little in order to get help. Be choosy who you share with but you may be surprised at the support you receive as you open up. It's not an easy thing to do but sometimes it pays off. It's like having someone to help carry your burden. :)Lorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03333972592403553177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-50142125176567950062012-02-09T16:38:44.269-08:002012-02-09T16:38:44.269-08:00I too am very familiar with the smoke and mirrors....I too am very familiar with the smoke and mirrors. The things we do to hide our pain from the world.<br /><br />Hoping all goes well for you!Trishahttp://theelusivesecondline.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com