tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post6858380851538715423..comments2023-04-04T07:26:09.997-07:00Comments on Searching for our silver lining: The choices we makeCristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-23469865452426718472016-03-02T05:22:38.253-08:002016-03-02T05:22:38.253-08:00I do think that prisons can come in many different...I do think that prisons can come in many different forms, and that you found a lot of them in this post. You got the heart of Chickie's question: your family wouldn't forgive you. You'd be all alone in the world, left to find your way amongst a world of people who hate you, or you could be in prison. But no, your family would not stand by your side. It really was hard for me to wrap my brain around her question: be "free" but have everyone I love hate me or be imprisoned but be able to see those whom I love once a week?Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-53420084244792121222016-03-01T18:10:34.743-08:002016-03-01T18:10:34.743-08:00Great post - it's really four or five in one!
...Great post - it's really four or five in one!<br /><br />" ... a lot of discomfort from others about my continual connection with this community ..." I find this really strange. Because, after all, aren't you the only person whose opinion really matters in this? I'm surprised that others might be uncomfortable with it, as it has nothing to do with them! Argh. I think we stay in this community for a whole range of reasons - I mean, look at me - almost 15 years since my first loss, and still online!<br /><br />I haven't really commented on the freedom or imprisonment debate. I always find these things so hard to consider, as individual circumstances are critical to the decision. <br /><br />I'm so glad you and Grey are talking about being true to yourself. I wish my husband and I had talked about this - really talked - a long time ago. I suspect we both might have taken different paths than the ones we're on now. I'm trying to be true to myself now - but financial considerations get in the way. <br /><br />Ah yes, the issues of "giving up." Those of us with no children certainly have had to face those issues. And, in the face of difficult diagnoses, my sisters and I had to make these decisions for my mother over the last 18 months too. None of it is easy. Of course, I don't know how I'd feel if my husband or a sister or dear friend took this decision. But I hope that I'd try at least to put myself in their situation, to try and understand their decisions. My only concern, after seeing my mother's last days, is that palliative care is all very well ... but it needs to be done properly.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-50707448030604790452016-03-01T12:00:57.964-08:002016-03-01T12:00:57.964-08:00What a thought-provoking post, in so many spheres....What a thought-provoking post, in so many spheres.<br /><br />I once worked in a toxic place, and I left knowing that I could not remain true to myself and stay there. I had to choose me or the place. I chose me, though it took longer than it should have.<br /><br />I recently read Being Mortal for book club, by a physician on end-of-life issues. I hadn't though of it through the choices we make in infertility, but it certainly fits. We can't focus solely on the quantity without eventually sacrificing quality.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-46057190436939852022016-02-29T16:12:11.159-08:002016-02-29T16:12:11.159-08:00This post is so amazing. I am so glad that you dec...This post is so amazing. I am so glad that you decided to stay...I guess people might see staying as choosing to stay in the mire of an unpleasant time, but that's assuming that infertility is an isolated event and not something that changes you, forever. You have wisdom and experience and the ripple effects of infertility continue on in your life--maybe not with active treatment but in grief and loss and family relationships and how your relationships have changed due to infertility and how it colors all your decisions. I am sorry for all the ostracizing...I don't understand how adult humans can be such bullies. I hope that this new opportunity is great for Grey and he gets a new culture to work in that is collaborative and friendly, not backbiting and isolating. I wish that infertility didn't result in ostracization, but it does, and I think that gives people more empathy for situations like people going through life-threatening illness or other life crises. I am hopeful for new beginnings for you both, and I really enjoyed this post. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-13023727358500629492016-02-29T06:33:42.316-08:002016-02-29T06:33:42.316-08:00To continue the cancer/infertility connection (alt...To continue the cancer/infertility connection (although I suppose it's probably true of any disease with a poor/terminal diagnosis) I've actually heard a fair bit about people whose supposed friends/family do a disappearing act on them while they are ill or in cancer treatment. Because they feel awkward and don't know how to handle it, which is something I think happens A LOT with infertility as well. Which is why people come back out of the woodwork when it's all over. It's not that they didn't like you or want you to get better/have a baby, they just didn't know how to deal with the uncomfortableness of seeing you through it. I don't have a lot of sympathy for those people, since they're fair weather friends, but we can't control the reactions of others I guess. You just have to make your choice whether to accept them again in your life afterwards.Aramishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12275274008426941898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-74120595820059034032016-02-28T19:56:11.916-08:002016-02-28T19:56:11.916-08:00What a deep and interesting post. You raise so man...What a deep and interesting post. You raise so many provoking points and yet I feel like you have southore to say. The parallel between cancer treatments in a terminal situation and prison is an interesting one. I will think about that since I recently lived through that situation (kind of).torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4129722175911979282.post-38865229690457755352016-02-28T15:42:12.062-08:002016-02-28T15:42:12.062-08:00I am grateful that our paths crossed and that we r...I am grateful that our paths crossed and that we remain connected, deeply, by our desire to learn, to inform and to be a bridge for those struggling to make sense of the complexities that life throws our way. Much love to you for your willingness to hear and validate the voices of women who ended up on a different path.Pamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.com