I have a confession to make. One that I'm not proud of. I'm struggling with the space. What to share and what to withhold.
Most of the problem is the nagging voice in my head, telling me to hold back. That I shouldn't write about what's happening in life as it will seem ungrateful, whiny and even like I'm gloating. That voice in my head that criticizes and tells me I'm not being true to this space.
The truth is there is so much happening now. So much to talk about. Between He-Beat crawling and standing, with She-Beat not too far behind. Both babies eating solids. And the fact that next month they will celebrate their first birthday. All of it leaves me in awe and makes me smile.
Then there's the negative aspects. The issues with neighbors who continue to cause problems. The lack of job security and the realities of a growing lack of funding for science in this country (see here) making both Grey and I wonder how we will evolve in order to support our family. And then the general reality that comes with being a parent of multiples.
Yet, I find myself hesitating to even talk about any of this. That I no longer feel safe to share all that is in my heart here. I know it's silly. After all, this space is what I make of it and no one can truly dictate what I write. And yet....
So I'll pose the question I've been struggling with: how does one evolve in their blog? Do you treat it as a chapter, closing up shop once that chapter is complete? Or is it more like a book?
For me it is a never ending story. Each day is something new to look forward to if I feel like writing about it.
ReplyDeleteFor me it is a never-ending story too. I think it's hard to build a space, and harder still to move spaces every time there is a life change. I would make the blog fit you, rather than you thinking the blog is only one shape and you need to fit yourself inside it. Consider it more like clothing that has little shape until you put it on.
ReplyDeleteI like the way Rebecca put it. Just because we are parenting after infertility doesn't mean that because we now talk about our child(ren) means that we are ungrateful or gloating. Parenthood, just like pregnancy, is not all rainbows and unicorns.
ReplyDeleteI have always blogged about what is going on in my life. It is only natural to move into different journeys and life changes. I started my blog as we were going through infertility, now pregnant. I am sure I will be moving to parenting twins with ups and downs and life with twin girls from birth to graduation. Who knows? I do know that a blog is a place for you to feel comfortable to write whatever you want, to share your feelings. I will have followers that will still be trying as road goes on, some will get pregnant, some will adopt etc. We are all in different places.
ReplyDeleteoooo, definitely a book. Can I be honest? I mean, do what you want with this space, it's yours and it's your life, but I get kind of frustrated with those who, as you said, "close up shop". I'm sure I'm not being nearly sympathetic enough to those who struggle with blogging after infertility, BUT sometimes I get frustrated with bloggers who simply disappear. I mean, I'm happy for them that they no longer NEED the space, that the chapter or part of their story is over when they needed this space, but still, it makes me sad to see them go. We've spent years learning about each other, celebrating and mourning life together... it feels odd when friends just stop blogging or abruptly announce that they're deleting the account, kind of a "umm, okay, bye?" moment. For me specifically, I'll definitely blog after infertility (if there is an after), but I also may be different in that my blog was there before infertility... it seems natural that it would be there after.
ReplyDeleteEnd rant/novel... I hope you'll stick around Cristy. I think you have a lot to offer this community whether you write about infertility, pregnancy loss, premature birth, parenting after infertility, multiples, or something entirely new, I think you have a special place in this community and you would be missed!
Book definitely. I've struggled recently too about taking my blog in a more "parenting" direction, but I knew when I started it that was where I eventually wanted to go. I know easier said than done, but it is your space - do with it what you please. Those who don't like it can leave.
ReplyDeleteCristy, you're awesome and I love reading everything you write. This space is yours. Your needs are evolving. There is nothing wrong with that. Mel is wise as usual, so it's probably just best to say... what her said.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog, but I am struggling with the same thoughts about my blog...."what's next"? So, I have no answers, but please know that you need to do what you think is right for you.
ReplyDeleteI think we all go through this after turning to parenting. In my case, I knew I wanted to stay. There was still so much to say - just different topics. I believe over time, my blog will continue to change and evolve. I will gain followers and lose followers, but as this is still my ongoing story, I feel the need to remain. If you still want to write - keep going! We love keeping updated and hearing how life with twins is treating you. the good and the bad. Always here for you in both.
ReplyDeleteI can 100% relate to this post! There have been many times where I have wanted to write, but that I have stopped myself short because of the content or because I haven't had the time. It is also sad because some of the people who I used to connect with regularly through my blog have moved on. I miss them! I agree with what everyone else has said so far, this is your space. You can write whatever you want here regardless of whether or not it falls into the same content pattern as before. Those that want to will continue to read and those that don't will fall off. You'll also gain newbies who will have fresh perspectives. If writing here helps you and you enjoy it, you should continue to do it! I love reading your posts and I really hope that you will continue. Your posts have helped me to get through many of my struggles and I still feel like I can relate to what you say.
ReplyDeleteMy blog is a book with many chapters. It's been different things for me over the years. And honestly, the only time I edit, is if I'm worried that someone IRL will read it (like my mother will read about me being annoyed with her). Granted, I have very few readers, but my blog is for me, so I just ignore that. At first it was just for the heck of it, then it was a mommy blog, then an IF blog, sort of a fitness blog, and some health related things. And there is overlap. Different "chapters" pick up again, then fade, over and over. Whatever you decide should be what's best for you. I hope you feel like sharing.
ReplyDeleteI know you've written another post since this one, but I just wanted to chime in that I wholeheartedly agree with the "book" concept - the blog should just evolve as you evolve, and you can't feel bad about it. This is your space and you need to use it in whatever manner is helpful to YOU. People can always unfollow if they're not in a good headspace for it -- but at the same time you'll have other people START to follow you who understand how hard parenting can be - and that it doesn't mean you aren't appreciative of having the kid(s). Hang in there and WRITE! ;)
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