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Tuesday, July 21, 2015

#MicroblogMondays - One week

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

10:30 pm. She-Beat lets out a whine to let us know she's awake and unhappy about being in her crib. The sound of me approaching her room causes her to jump up in her crib, leaning over in anticipation. Grey and I have tried ignoring her during these wake-ups, hoping that she'll simply fall back to sleep. Instead, we've learned the only thing that works in taking her downstairs for some one-on-one time. Playing quietly or cuddling on the couch.

This night is no different, except for a looming sense of anxiety on my end. I know she's aware as she immediately puts my face in her hands and gives me a hard stare. A quick kiss follows ending with a hug where I can feel her melting into me. Quietly I wipe away the tears, instead focusing on her being pressed into my chest.

In 7 days, She-Beat has her surgery. In 7 days, the Beats turn two.

Back in June, we knew the irony of this event landing on their birthday. With memories of all the craziness that happened almost 2 years ago.  In a strange way, there's calm around this knowledge. She's so young that it's unlikely she'll remember and yet it highlights how strong they both are as they've already had to overcome the odds before. In addition, we are lucky to have two excellent surgeons overseeing this surgery. Still, as the date approaches, my anxiety has increased. I'm scared of what will happen. Wishing it was me that would be going under the knife instead of her.

On Sunday, we'll celebrate their birthday. A day at the park with access to a wading pool. Their friends and teachers from school have been invited with the only request being they come and play; a day to forget what is looming and focus instead on celebrating them coming into the world.

One week till surgery to remove the cholesteatoma. One more week to pray and prepare. 

16 comments:

  1. I am here if you need someone to lend an ear that has been through surgery and understands all the emotions you are feeling. I can tell you that the one thing I hated hearing is " don't worry everything will be fine". I can tell you that she will be in the best hands and she has two parents that love her and will be there afterwards helping her recover. Thinking of you all.

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  2. waiting and anticipation is always hard, sometimes the hardest part. Thinking of you. Good for you for also planning the birthday celebration.

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  3. I can only imagine what putting your child into surgery would feel like. I would be a mess no matter how simple or routine, let alone complicated. I will hope for resilience on She-Beat's end and strength and confidence on yours. Hugs.

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  4. She is strong and resilient, but I know that doesn't help much because she's still your baby and you're going to worry. So I hope you have a wonderful week of celebration and that recovery is quick!

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  5. I am sending 1000 good thoughts. I'm keeping you and the Beats in my thoughts all week.

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  6. Thinking of you Cristy and joining you in prayer!

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  7. Oh Cristy, this is so tough and I'm rooting for you all. You guys are so strong - She Beat stomps on strong and rises way above. Thinking of you.

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  8. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
    I can't believe the Beats are turning 2!! Time flies :)

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  9. Think of you and sending good thoughts that it goes off without a hitch

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  10. It's so weird...I was thinking just the other day that the last time I was in Maine was when you had the Beats, since I was stalking your blog anytime I hit a wifi hotspot. We skipped Maine last year because of the Czech Republic, but we're going again next week and now I'll need to find wifi again so I can read all about She-Beat's surgery. Sending you the best positive vibes and strength to get through it.

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  11. I'm sending a ton of good wishes to all involved. You'll be on my mind Tuesday. xoxo

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  12. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday. Have a great party with the Beats on Sunday! I can't believe that they are already 2!

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  13. Sending you all so many good vibes and best wishes

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  14. Catching up after being away... I will be reading on to see how things went, but I am sending retroactive (((hugs))). P.S. How can they be two already??!

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