Unpack

At 4:30 am EST, Grey and I loaded two very sleepy children into the car and made our way to the airport. The plan to use Uber fell through when we learned of an hour wait and after some crazy airport shuttle experiences we decided not to gamble with contact other services.

It's been over 2 1/2 years since the Beats and I have been to Logan Airport, but so many memories from that first night came back as we made our way to the terminal to drop Grey off. Both kids alert to all the lights, sounds and movement.

It's hard straddling the worlds between hope and frustration. Yesterday's fight to restore heat to our rental was draining on all of us, so the prospect of returning to that airport with one-way tickets is very appealing. Yet the future is still uncertain and there's potential that none of this will pan out.

Curling up with the Beats on the couch this morning following dropping off Grey, I could feel the unpacking of all the emotions begin. The strain of limbo starting to release as we all are finding our way to move beyond the uncertainty. Whether it be in a damned slower morning consisting of pancakes and a promise of trip to the library for some additional playtime or me forcing myself to complete the assembly of Kindergarten registration packets or putting together a reward system for forcing myself to apply for jobs, both here as well as on the West Coast. Movement forward is the key.

And that can only come with allowing for the unpacking of the emotional side of this process. Allowing for the hope while also acknowledging the fear.