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Monday, June 8, 2020

#MicroblogMondays: Shut up and listen

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

It's been a week of listening. From conversations with connections inside and outside higher education to reading about anti-racism, a lot of my free time has been processing everything I allowed myself to be blind to. It's been hard to confront, but already rewarding as I've been starting to fit pieces together that previously didn't have places in the puzzle. 

But with all this good, I've been frustrated by side conversations that have been happening about feminism. And though I consider myself a feminist, what has left me angry is listening to those who embody privilege within feminism trying to align their own experience with the Black Lives Matter movement. 

In 2018, Rachel Cargle, a black feminist activist, wrote a piece in Harper Bazaar about toxic white feminism and how it's drowning out the message from anyone outside the white feminist mindset. It's a hard piece, as is this follow up one, but what was striking is that the same thing that happened then is happening now, with co-opting and silencing of the message by those who see themselves in certain lights who are finding themselves challenged and the backlash that follows. Instead of listening, probing deeper, and exploring, the result is to drown out or attack. 

To those who are deviating from the Black Lives Movement message, adding their tangents on feminism, I want to remind you that Amy Cooper considers herself not racist and a liberal feminist. 

Sit with that for a moment. 

This woman, who wore a mask and embodies so much of what we believe feminism should look like, made a false police report on an African American man solely because he asked her to follow the rules and leash her dog. This same woman likely has joined in discussion groups about patriarchy and how suppressed women are, advocating for "leaning-in" and equal rights. 

One of the hardest things about confronting one's own racism as recognizing one's own discomfort and learning to shut up instead of drowning out the conversation. Is patriarchy real? Absolutely. But many who are writing about it at this time aren't risking their lives to do so. They don't give a second thought about whether they will end up dead from raising their voices. And they don't seem willing to understand why diluting the message from this movement is a problem. That white fragility is very real and damaging, adding to the harm those who are risking their lives to speak out face.

It's time to shut up and listen. Suppressing the urge to align your views of life with those who are raising their voices. I can guarantee that doing this listening and reflection is going to make you uncomfortable, making you face your privilege. But the work is long overdue. Remember that Amy Cooper never owned her racist act, choosing instead to hide behind the defense of "not being racist" and playing the victim. Frankly, I don't want to live in a world where this response is seen as okay, because Amy Cooper doesn't represent the type of feminism I want to support. It's time to give the stage to those who do.

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for this - I read all your links! I've found a lot of this reading fascinating, and I'm listening with wide ears, trying to also apply it to the experiences of Maori and other minorities and POC here.

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  2. Excellent links here; thanks for helping me with my continuing education on this issue.

    Perhaps even equal to the George Floyd murder, Amy Cooper's behavior, caught on video, revealed racism in a way that so many who have stayed neutral on the issue can no longer look away from. Neutral is not longer good enough. So many of us are now called -- internally and externally -- to actively be anti-racist and to perform anti-racist acts. Step 1 is to learn more.

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  3. I love this: "One of the hardest things about confronting one's own racism as recognizing one's own discomfort and learning to shut up instead of drowning out the conversation." You make great points. There is so much power in listening, in really listening to the voices that have been silenced and rationalized away with denials and indignation and what-about-this-other-oppression stuff. Shut up and listen, I love it.

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  4. "Shut up & listen" is excellent advice (and I wish a few more people I knew would follow it...! ;) ) Trying to do the same!

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