Sweet child o' mine

 

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message ‘He is Dead’.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East, and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

~ "Funeral Blues" by W.H. Auden

You passed on a Monday afternoon. Grey held you in his arms close to his heart as they gave the medication that would help end your pain. As I watched you limp around earlier in the day, I knew you were telling us it was time. I knew you were ready to see Jaxson again.

But with your passing came the loss of my foundation. You and Jaxson were constants during almost two decades of chaos, loss, and change. You both were the sources of unconditional love; the reminder that there is good in this world despite what others may claim.

I never thanked you for loving me when I felt so unlovable. For teaching me what love truly is. You, Miss Daisy, showed me what it meant to be a lady. Elegant, graceful, and beautiful, but tough as nails and refusing to take any shit off of anyone, regardless of their protests and explanations. Your love of adventure meant I'd often find you in the highest and most inconvenient of places, but you refused to apologize for your love of fences and roofs. All dogs be damned if they were bothered.

I knew after losing Jax that you were mourning the loss of your life companion. Watching you grieve was heartbreaking, as you began to slow down and stay inside. Though you clearly loved Grey, Maddy, Teddy, and me, you were also telling us that you were saying goodbye.

Life is so different without you here. Grey and I feel so unmoored as we can't sense you around us. I know with all my being that you and Jax are reunited, crossing Rainbow Bridge as he was waiting for you. But the loss of you renews the loss of him and combines into a loss so deep that it makes it hard to breathe. You were both the angels we desperately needed and now you are gone. I'm struggling to find my footing now that you're not there to walk beside me.

I love you so much, Daisy. You will forever be my beautiful peanut butter cup and sweet girl. I promise to embrace all the lessons you taught me, making sure your wisdom and grace live on. I promise to continue living the way you taught me, despite (and maybe because) of the heartbreak. Thank you for making me part of your family. Thank you for loving me and walking beside me. I will miss you until we meet again.