This helps

Welcome everyone from ICLW! For those of you who are visiting for the first time, brief history on me. My husband Grey and I have unexplained infertility and have been trying to expand our family for 2.5 yrs. This past December we proceeded with IVF and received the news the cycle was successful. 4 days later, on New Year's Day, we learned something was wrong and a week later were diagnosed with a blighted ovum. Following this news, we decided to immediately try again. On March 14, we did FET#1 and 9 days later received the news that my beta was 306 and climbing. 5 days later, the spotting and cramping started. Despite this, my HCG levels climbed and we were told that everything would be okay. On Friday March 30, I passed a very large clot and the next morning my cramps stopped. On April Fool's Day we learned my HCG levels dropped from 8225 to 1298. Diagnosis was completed miscarriage, possibly of twins. The past month has been spent with Grey and I trying to find our way to recover and rebuild. 

A few days ago, the aftermath of this past miscarriage began to hit Grey. I've learned from this journey that he tends to process emotions after the dust settles. A response that is very different from mine. Anyway, this past Thursday was a hard one for him. He woke up angry at the world and angry at life. I worried about him as he biked to work, hoping for some sunshine as well as bike-friendly drivers. In the middle of the day, he sent me an email title "This helps me." The words brought tears to my eyes, as they've taken on a new meaning.

Tonight I am sharing them with all of you. Cyndi Lauper is an incredibly wise woman.

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
Its hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

(When I last saw you laughing)
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors
True colors
True colors
Shining through

I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow