So yeah. Yesterday. . . .
The interview was awesome. Truly. I love the team, the mission and what they are envisioning for the future. And I could see not only how I could fit into the group, but could grow. I truly felt that a younger version of me who didn't have to worry about silly things like finances would thrive there.
But that's thing, I do have worry about finances. I do have small children to consider and all financial support for my family comes from Grey and me.
And so I spent yesterday facing a very hard and fast reality that I can no longer pursue this work. That as much as I believe in what I've been doing, it's been hurting the Beats and Grey. I've sacrificed them for too long and it has to stop.
We live in a world where the focus from our leadership is "me and mine." As those in power point fingers at one another, spending their waking hours trying to shuffle blame, what they fail to see is how avoiding the needed hard work is hurting the majority. Those that serve our communities and help them grow (teachers, social workers, emergency personal) have been minimized and punished for too long. Greed has become the driving force for those who lead this nation and our world. And it's a scary thought as greed, fear and hatred have never been rallying points for building and overcoming hardship.
Today I'm closing the door on a chapter that I truly loved. I'm beginning the process to apply for positions that will allow me to use my science training in more corporate settings. It all makes me so sad as it's not what I wanted or envisioned.
But the truth is neither the world we currently live in. And I'm beyond tired of fighting a battle at the expense of those I care most about.
That sucks, but your reasons are valid. My husband briefly worked in the states in social services. The boss kept her employees on barely a living wage so that she could get bonuses for saving money. It sounded awful (especially when he nearly died because he got sick and couldn't work to pay for health insurance). Better luck on your new path!
ReplyDeleteI understand your decision. Hopefully you'll find something that pays decently, and that you can enjoy. And it's not forever.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are faced with this choice. It's a shame you won't be able to pursue work that would fulfill you more but your reasons make sense
ReplyDeleteOK, forget what I wrote in my comment on your previous post. ;) Money isn't everything, true -- but it's not UNimportant either, especially when you have a young family to support. Working in the corporate world has its ups & downs -- I did it for 28 years, and in retrospect, I probably stayed way too long. But the pay & benefits were pretty good, & even when they let me go, I walked away with a good severance package, after which I was able to retire, thanks to my defined benefit pension plan (an increasing rarity these days) and my employee share ownership plan. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI still wonder if this can be your path to Both/And. Both work you find intrinsically rewarding, and something that enables your family to move away from financial worry.
ReplyDeleteThis is so tough Cristy. I don’t know how to reconcile the two.... wanting to use my brain and my education and my passion for meaningful work or getting a better paycheque. I try and do the best I can to help the people i’m Working with and see if that makes it mite aligned with my values.... but it’s a tough one.
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