Bleeding

My heart always stops when I see posts that talk about bleeding episodes or bloggers having to end up in L&D. Vaginal bleeding is always scary and I still have nightmares from the episodes I had during my second miscarriage.

This time is different, though. I'm not bleeding vaginally. I'm bleeding in places I shouldn't be, though and its the atypical nature of all of this that has my MFM on alert.

It all started yesterday. Grey and I are both very stressed at the moment with my looming unemployment and trying to figure out how to manage the transition. Needless to say, I have a whole post I'm working on about all of this because it's seriously nonsensical that I'm in a position where I may not be able to receive unemployment simply because I'm pregnant with twins and may need to go on bedrest. Anyway, the stress has lead to a couple of meltdowns on my end. Something which I think may be one of the triggers.

As a reminder, I am currently on daily Lovenox injections. To date, outside of the fact that this is still the most painful medication I've been on (yes, it even beats out PIO), I haven't had any side effects. So you can imagine my surprise yesterday while at work when I noticed a wet-spot on my black dress and when I ran my hand over it found blood. Confused, I excused myself from a meeting with a student and went to the bathroom so I could investigate in private. What I found was that the site of the injection was still bleeding. Not a lot, but it certainly wasn't stopping. Chalking it up to hitting a blood vessel due to stress, I grabbed a band-aid and went on with my day.

This morning started out typically enough outside of the fact that Grey was up early working on uploading the final draft of a manuscript, so he was sitting across from me when I administered the Lovenox. 10 minutes later, I felt something running out of my nose and when I wiped I realized it was blood. Again, I wasn't overly panicked as I wasn't associating the bleeding with the Beats, but Grey took one look at me and immediately picked up the phone to call the clinic.

Here's the concern: I don't have a history of nose bleeds. Add in the fact that the bleeds take forever to clot, resulting in a total of 3 this morning, and there's concern that my body is rejecting the Lovenox. At this point, I don't know exactly what all this means and/or if it's just a sign that there's been too much stress, but one thing that is certain is that this shouldn't be happening.

There's another thing though. As strange as this sounds, I'm not panicking about this. If the bleeding was vaginal, I would be a complete mess right now. But the idea that it may just be affecting me has me shrugging my shoulders and thinking "as long as the Beats are okay, who cares." The most healthy line of thinking: probably not. But that's where I'm at.

As I type this, Grey is showering and we're preparing to go in. Hopefully they'll have the results by today so that we know how to proceed. The idea of stopping Lovenox has me in more of a panic as I don't want to take away the one medication that I really think has protected the Beats from my wacky body. That said, I also don't want to jeopardize their health because I neglected my own. So it's a waiting game.

I'll update more on this soon.