The road to transition is rarely a smooth one. Grey is actively in job-search/interview mode, thinking a lot about the next step and making connections almost daily. Still, there are moments where this potential future seems surreal. With daily deadlines and continual commitments, it still seems very much like a dream.
I remember a similar feeling following our last round of treatment. While your average fertile would immediately declare themselves pregnant and would be writing a birth plan, I was continually reminding myself that we were finally transitioning out of the trenches to the future we so desired. Many days, it all seemed surreal. Hence I always felt like I still had one foot in the trenches; waiting for it to all fall apart so that I would once again be back where we started.
I think I became so accustomed to the pain of infertility that when I became pregnant it was a weird adjustment to not be sad anymore! I think many of us will always have one foot in the trenches and it's really great to be able to reach out a hand to help those who need it.
ReplyDeleteWow, they are almost 2?!
Good luck with the transitions
Lovely. Because that's the kind of person you are.
ReplyDeleteI think once you've lived the fact that nothing is a given, it starts seeping into every other facet of life.
ReplyDeleteSending good thoughts for a smooth and easy transition.
I have confidence that no matter what obstacles are thrown your way you both will figure out a way to make it all work. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteWhat Mel said. Dealing with such an intense experience tints the way you experience things.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Grey, and the Beats.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. Transitions are always a tricky balance, where you feel neither completely here nor there. I wish you and Grey the best during this latest transition! I also agree with Mel and Lori...you experience things differently after finding out that some things just aren't a given.
ReplyDelete