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It's amazingly easy to focus on the bad. From a young age we're taught to find anything that's wrong as focusing on the good is seen as bragging or acting self-important. Be it the weather, the looming deadlines, disappointments or changes big or small, the negative is always weighed over the positive.
Years ago, while in an infertility support group, the leader assigned an exercise to counter the negative. Given every member was in limbo and preparing for treatment, it was simply too easy. So we were challenged to find 5 good things each day and to share them with our partners. Those 5 things had to be shared prior to diving in to all the other stuff.
It surprised me how hard doing this exercise was. The urge to dump and vent following a rough day. And yet, by doing so, I found that my attitude shifted. Sure things were still painful and there were many moments where the hurt consumed. But finding those good things were reminders of why life was still worth living.
This past week was a hard one. Between the emotional landmine followed by an insane vet bill (both Jaxson and Daisy are healthy, which was the burn) followed by a trip to urgent care as the whole family has been sick, it was easy to find things to complain about.
But despite all of that, there was also the good moments. Like how the mornings have become cooler, leading to pleasant wake-ups. And the peaceful naps. Of the trip back from urgent care where we took the long way home and got a chance to explore the city. Of a morning spent with the Beats playing with their building blocks. The peaceful moments I got alone with a book.
And the promise of a Monday that this is a new week with new potential opportunity. A reminder that even when it seems hard, finding the good can fuel you to overcome.
The Quiet Zone
2 hours ago
YES Cristy! Love this post. so very true. Like how, today, Bean Sprout slept later than me and I have time to sip my tea while it's hot and read your blog! *sip* Ahhhhh, It's gonna be a good day.
ReplyDeleteXOXXO, Kaeleigh
Love this post! I can think very clearly in the throes of infertility, or even my job that I completely burned out from a year ago, how negative I was. Coming up with five things would have been hard. Life is more simple now with me staying home, but my husband gets like this most days because his job is stressful in the sense of stupid coworkers. And I find it wears on me after awhile. This would be a great thing to implement for us.
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry to hear about the vet bill and the UC trip. But you're right. Getting to read a book and cool mornings are fantastic. And I agree with Kaeleigh, my happy thing today is getting to drink coffee and read blogs. :)
I love when people can see the positive. And just like you illustrated beautifully with the cooler mornings, people always think "positive" things have to be monumental occurrences. If you add up all of those wonderful little moments: A breeze, a smile, feeling better today, a kiss... they add up to monumental occurrences.
ReplyDeleteExcellent reminder, Cristy! It's hard to remember to focus on the positive, but oh so rewarding when we do.
ReplyDeleteI really like this. I know that focusing on the positive can lift my spirits, and it's a good reminder for me to go sit in the warm, almost spring-like sun over lunch!
ReplyDeleteI love this, and I'm glad you are all on the mend and found some silver linings during a stressful week. I need to try this at home.
ReplyDeleteI needed your last two sentences.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I did the "list x good things in your life" thing was actually in therapy. At that time even coming up with one thing was difficult. It's a strategy I've continued to use when I'm feeling down, even years later. Thanks for the perspective.
I love this and you...I love your perspective and how a simple exercise can change so much. I did this a long time ago and we called them gratitude lists. Looking into ourselves was the hardest part, but once found, it became easier to see the good things, even through the bad. Thanks for this gentle reminder to stop and think once and a while.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you. I needed this post today. I'm glad there's some positives to counteract your horrible past week. I also like that they are small things... I can't wait for cooler days to go with the nights and mornings, myself!
ReplyDeleteI don't necessarily look for the good things, but every time life is stressful, I continuously remind myself that I don't know. That maybe the greatest opportunity will come along tomorrow so it's worth slogging through today. Which sounds a little like I take my advice from Annie.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right and primarily the reason I write Gratitude Lists every month. They are a reminder that even if things aren't great - there is a lot that goes well. We just need to train our mind to focus on it.
ReplyDeleteThanks -- I think we all need to be reminded of this now & then!
ReplyDeleteI like this exercise - will definitely have to give this a try!
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