Hiding out

It's snowing today. A wet fluffy snow that muffles sound and forces everyone to slow down. The Beats awoke shrieking with utter excitement about the white blankets on the lawn, happily opening the front doors to show two less than enthused cats.

But snow is also a symbol of transition for Grey and me. Snow usually brings with it big changes and events.

Which is fitting as today we're expected an answer about the job Grey interviewed for on the West Coast.

The past few days have been ones filled with anxiety. Grey's interview on Friday apparently went very well with a lot of good feedback. He had an opportunity to check out the town he would be working in, that was very bikeable, had access to transit and, most importantly, lots of rental options that didn't exclude pets (which has been a massive problem in Boston unless one is willing to get into the $3000 per month rental category). Grey returned on Saturday carrying with him West Coast glow. Though we know there will be challenges and other less desirable factors to deal with, it's been the most optimistic I've seen him in almost 3 years.

On Monday, the glow disappeared due to an email from one of the project supervisors he's working with. And with that email all the conflicts and frustrations came back, leaving us both feeling fairly insecure. The day ended with a shot of hope, though, with an email from one of the people he had interviewed with telling him the visit went very well and he should be hearing news soon.

The problem with emotional roller coasters like this is I find myself wanting to hide out. Sharing with people seems so premature and foolhardy. Yes, there's reason to hope about the news today and I'm fairly certain this company is going to make him an offer, but I'm also seasoned enough to know that the offer could be low or have some undesirable strings attached. Nothing is certain.

So instead of obsessing about the "what ifs," I've locked myself in the library for the day, working on ordering supplies, drafting a presentation for my class and working on next steps.

All the while knowing that in less than 7 hours we will have an answer and more information.