Thursday, July 18, 2013

Playing chicken

The following post is a whiny one. If you are currently not in a good place, skip it. As always, there will be other posts. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

Today I had my weekly appointment with the MFMs. Following a rise in BP followed by a rise in levels of biomarkers for liver stress, they've been vigilant. In order to gather more data as to what is happening, I went in for an ultrasound yesterday to have my liver visually assessed and have been doing weekly blood draws so they can watch the levels of the markers. Lots and lots of poking and prodding.

Unfortunately, the answer to what's happening with me is still unclear. Though the labs indicate that my liver is functioning, the levels of the markers for liver stress still aren't dropping. Initially I asked if it was due to the fact that my liver is being physically compressed by She-Beat (she's currently been using it as a blanket), but that doesn't seem to be the case. Add in the fact that the ultrasound revealed I have a number of hemangiomas in my liver and it's suggestive that postpartum follow up via MRI is necessary.

The news of the mysterious liver I can handle, just as I've been handling the news that I've been officially diagnosed with prehypertension. But when I heard my MFM tell me that if things didn't improve on both these fronts I would have to be admitted to the hospital, a wave of sadness and frustration hit full force, leaving me feeling utterly defeated.

I'll be the first to admit, I've been very VERY lucky with this pregnancy. After years of living with infertility, suffering through multiple failed fertility treatments and two miscarriages, just being able to carry the Beats has been such a blessing. Add in the fact that I've really had zero medical problems despite having a tentative diagnosis of APA syndrome and having to deal with daily injections since last November, and I know how lucky I've been. Still, the thought of going into the hospital now and running the risk of the Beats having to arrive before 36 weeks scares me. And it makes me feel that my body is failing them; failing our family.

Grey has been trying his best to cheer me up since this morning's appointment. He was quick to remind me that the levels of the biomarkers did drop somewhat today. In addition, though I'm still very much at risk for preeclampsia, I currently have zero protein in my urine. Also we are doing what we need to do. I'm scheduled to be fitted tomorrow with for a maternity support belt to help with the aches and pains due to carrying two babies. In addition, the Beats are looking very good, still measuring ahead in growth and development. He also pointed out that we are in excellent hands with our care team. The fact is, due to the trust and communication that has been established over the last few months of working with them, they were able to find these issues and monitor them. Something that's different from what a lot of people go through as usually issues like this one aren't detected until it's too late.

Still, I know that we're currently having a standoff with my body; that I'm playing chicken with my funky liver. Whereas those around me have been asking about when we're going to start making preparations for the Beats arrival (something that we are sorely behind on) or whether there's even going to be a baby shower, I'm at is trying to figure out what one packs in a hospital bag for a long term stay (seriously, I'm clueless on this one).

How I wish I could just sleep the next 5 weeks away . . . .


  1. Awwww, this sucks Cristy. I wish there wasn't a pending long term hospital stay in your future. It's definitely not how one views the last weeks of their pregnancy.

    Grey's right, there is sunshine poking through the clouds. You do have an excellent care team. Your levels are dropping. Your body, although struggling in the liver department, is excelling in the Beat development department.

    But still.

    Fingers crossed that your liver holds out for you guys and that the long term hospital bag stays empty... at least for a few more weeks.

    Thinking of you! Hang in there!

  2. If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. I already have a stash of things to give you on Sunday that will hopefully help. I can help you make a hospital bag list when we visit and it may help to ask a few ladies who had longer hospital stays what they felt was most useful.

    I know these last trimester shenanigans are worrisome as is the prospect of staying in hospital, but hon you are so close. If your precious Beats came today, which they won't, they would be okay. Maybe be in the hospital a little longer than normal, but they would be okay. Your doctors are doing everything right and will stay on top of it all so you all can stay healthy and safe.

    I am here for venting anytime you need it.

  3. I hope you don't end up need your long-term hospital stay bag. A friend had liver issues during her pregnancy so I know how tough this can be.

    Glad to hear the Beats are looking so good and that you have an excellent care team. Those are the most important things.

    Hang in there my friend :)

  4. As much as all this sucks, you're very lucky to have such a great medical team that is looking out for you and monitoring you so closely. And as much as it would suck to have to go on hospital bedrest, that doesn't necessarily mean early delivery, does it? I had a friend who was on bedrest in the hospital with her twins for what seemed like FOREVER. She was bored, but she made it through and her boys are 8 now. You guys are doing all you can, the Beats will be just fine!

  5. Oh honey, this is not whiney at all...That's a lot to have thrown at you. It is scary to not know what's going on, but so happy to hear they have been vigilant in watching you. Pre-hypertension is scary. I never had that, I just went straight to the pre-eclampsia. I'm cheering for you for good news and hopes for you to be able to stay out of the hospital as long as possible and for the Beats to keep cooking as long as possible. You have done a fantastic job with everything so far. Sending hugs and good thoughts.

  6. XOXO. Wrapping you in a big hug, Cristy.

  7. Aw I'm sorry! I hope that they can keep it all under control...prayers for you!

  8. Ugh! Cristy, I hate that we don't know what's going on with your liver. I know it feels again and again that your body is failing you. I don't know why but I'm seeing a lot more mystery situations/conditions lately in the 3rd trimester with the ladies in the forum too. The thought of being admitted to the hospital would make me break down too. It sucks to not know why, but Grey is right, you have a great team who is on top of everything. And the most important thing, the Beats are doing well. While I have no experience with packing for the hospital, it sounds like you have some offers to help you with a list. Get it ready because you just never know. Much hugs to you, Grey, the Beats, and the kitties.

  9. Fingers crossed that things continue to stabilize and you can avoid that long hospital stay. I am glad that you're being so well taken care of.

  10. Blah. No fun Cristy. Praying these next few weeks are "uneventful."

  11. Five, you're getting close! So sorry about these complications. It does sound really tough and stressful. I hope that the next five weeks are full of peace and joy.

    Also, I'd like to email you something in response to your great comment on my last post. If you feel comfortable, could you email me at so that I have you address? Thanks.

  12. You're allowed to whine friend - this sucks. Twin pregnancies are hard, but still... it would have been really nice to have bringing the beats into the world be drama free. I'm sorry that isn't how it is shaping up. :(

  13. Sjoe this must be more than just frustrating but also a little scary. Your body is doing an amazing job carrying the beats, even if there are challenges.

    I hope the belt can help with the aches and pains because those last weeks / days of a twin pregnancy take their toll our your body. Good luck!

  14. This was definitely not whiny. You're worried about your health and the health of your babies—what could be more important? I hope the doctors help you figure out a way to stay out of the hospital and HEALTHY. Wishing you the best!

  15. I've been lurking for quite some time. Just want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. Sorry for more medical complications... it sucks really. The babies are coming soon and I am hoping for a smooth rest of the pregnancy for you.

  16. Hi Cristy,

    You do not sound whiny at all. Your liver is giving you hell, when you have enough stressors already!

    I have no words of wisdom for you, but just believe that whatever it is, whether you spend time inside the hospital or outside, it is all towards safely bringing the kids into the world. I want you to focus on that.

    It is still some time to go, so be cautious. I hope and pray for healthy bubs for you.


  17. It's not a bad thing to worry/complain about your health, especially when it's your babies health as well! Hope everything smooths itself out soon.
    I asked my partner what you should pack, as he is no stranger to long stays. His advice is, very comfortable things to wear, a tooth brush, things to entertain you (I would suggest books if i knew what sort you would like). His advice was to try and make your self as comfortable as you can, but without going over board because you want have much space. Worst advice ever :P


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