Change is in the air. Since Grey's return from his conference back East, our time has been filled with planning, organizing and figuring out logistics. Slowly, we been sharing the news of the upcoming move. There's been many moments of excitement and joy. But there have also been moments of sadness.
In those moments, promises are always made. That even though change is on the horizon, that we'll do everything we can to maintain contact and continue on as before. In many cases, these promises are very true. These relationships are important to our family and we fully intend on fostering them through all means possible. But in some cases, we both know its the final nail in the coffin for this relationship. That these false promises are simply made to ease the transition and the loss.
It's always strange how some times the lies are necessary. Though we preach honesty, there are times where the fallacy is actually kinder. It always leaves a pit in my stomach, telling things to others I think they want to hear while leaving some things left unsaid. All out of fear of fallout, causing more pain or harm and even seeming apathetic.
And yet, it's always a sign of distance and closure. Something that brings its own sadness for what was and could have been.
I know what you mean. And for that reason I share some of the sadness.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes on the transition :-)
It's funny how some relationships easily carry on long distance and with others, it just doesn't work without the regular face to face contact. Good luck on the move - that's always a major life change and so.much.work.
ReplyDeleteThanks to the Army we say goodbye and move way too often. I too find such sadness in saying goodbye to those we know we won't see again.
ReplyDeleteIt's weird when you know that you're saying goodbye to someone you probably will never talk to again. They probably know it too, but it's weird nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteGood byes are hard.
ReplyDeleteYes sometimes they're lies, but I think most times they're just misguided good intentions, or sometimes a mutual acknowledgement that "if only things had been different." Wishing you all the best for the transition.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't really seen in written quite this was but its so true. There are several instances in life where it's kinder to lie to someone than tell the truth. Goodbyes are certainly one of them. Hoping that the joy and excitement outweigh the hardship and sadness of leaving.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm guilty of that, but I'm not lying when I say I'll keep in contact. Sometimes its just hard. I've had friends move away that I lost touch with, but others that I still talk to frequently. But the same goes for friends that live 30 minutes away and I don't talk to them anymore. Distance isn't the only factor in a friendship, sometimes they just grow apart as you go through life experiences. But I think it also helps you learn your true friends. One of my best friends from high school won't respond to my FB friend request, and yet, a friend I hadn't seen since I was 16 has become my best friend over the last 2 years.
ReplyDeleteMoving across the country is difficult on many relationships. I have made 5 major moves throughout my life and have kept some friends after the move, but have also lost a bunch. It really depends on how much effort both of you make towards keeping the relationship alive and if you will ever go back to visit.
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard transition but moving for an amazing job is a great reason for such a big change!
I move around a lot, so for me it isn't too hard. Hoping that this move won't be too hard on your family.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard. I mean, what else DO you say beyond the lie? The truth in that case won't really help anyone.
ReplyDeleteIt's a dance we learn early, isn't it? The way we sign yearbooks, make promises to elementary school friends ... the little lies that are really larger lies, and that in a way get us off the hook from the relationships that really couldn't have withstood the test of time anyway, much as the separation pains us.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the move is as gentle on your heart as it can be.
I can't tell you how bitter I am about all this. Hopefully we can meet up before you guys leave though!
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