I don't have any sage words for how to get through IF and/or loss. Frankly, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. But what I do know is that if I'm going to keep hope alive during this journey, then I need to seek out reminders.
My current one involves visiting a local Buddhist temple to spin the prayer wheels.
According to the plack on this shrine, each wheel contains 1000 prayers for peace and love. Spinning the wheels releases the prayers.
I'm not a practicing Buddhist, though I one day hope to study and learn more as I think this is a beautiful religion. But, with each IVF cycle, it's become a tradition to walk down to the temple and spin all 44 wheels. In the past it was for our embies.
This cycle though, as I walked around the shrine spinning the wheels, I also thought of this community: all those in treatment and those who are waiting for the next round. For those that had BFNs and those with BFPs who were hoping for healthy pregnancies. For those who those that had experienced loss, be if their first or their nth. Those those waiting for news on DE or surrogacy and those in the adoption process. For all those still on this journey to expand their family. All this done in the hope of finding hope and even bargaining with it for an end to this madness.
Come on my little snowbabies. Grow.
This cycle though, as I walked around the shrine spinning the wheels, I also thought of this community: all those in treatment and those who are waiting for the next round. For those that had BFNs and those with BFPs who were hoping for healthy pregnancies. For those who those that had experienced loss, be if their first or their nth. Those those waiting for news on DE or surrogacy and those in the adoption process. For all those still on this journey to expand their family. All this done in the hope of finding hope and even bargaining with it for an end to this madness.
Come on my little snowbabies. Grow.
