I don't have any sage words for how to get through IF and/or loss. Frankly, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. But what I do know is that if I'm going to keep hope alive during this journey, then I need to seek out reminders.
My current one involves visiting a local Buddhist temple to spin the prayer wheels.
According to the plack on this shrine, each wheel contains 1000 prayers for peace and love. Spinning the wheels releases the prayers.
I'm not a practicing Buddhist, though I one day hope to study and learn more as I think this is a beautiful religion. But, with each IVF cycle, it's become a tradition to walk down to the temple and spin all 44 wheels. In the past it was for our embies.
This cycle though, as I walked around the shrine spinning the wheels, I also thought of this community: all those in treatment and those who are waiting for the next round. For those that had BFNs and those with BFPs who were hoping for healthy pregnancies. For those who those that had experienced loss, be if their first or their nth. Those those waiting for news on DE or surrogacy and those in the adoption process. For all those still on this journey to expand their family. All this done in the hope of finding hope and even bargaining with it for an end to this madness.
Come on my little snowbabies. Grow.
This cycle though, as I walked around the shrine spinning the wheels, I also thought of this community: all those in treatment and those who are waiting for the next round. For those that had BFNs and those with BFPs who were hoping for healthy pregnancies. For those who those that had experienced loss, be if their first or their nth. Those those waiting for news on DE or surrogacy and those in the adoption process. For all those still on this journey to expand their family. All this done in the hope of finding hope and even bargaining with it for an end to this madness.
Come on my little snowbabies. Grow.
Wow that does indeed sound like a beautiful religion!
ReplyDeleteI also find myself drawn to Buddhism. It's the one religious I've found that teaches you how best to cope with life, with all of its struggles and heartache.
ReplyDeleteI love your post-transfer tradition. I hope that at least a few of those prayers are answered.
You are so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you for thinking of all of us. You are often in my thoughts... Sending you all the hope in my heart tonight!
ReplyDeleteI have a Tibetan Prayer Wheel here. Its going to be a gift for someone in my family. Never actually used one myself. I hope that it works well.
ReplyDeleteGrow frosties grow! I've been thinking of you and your belly. I hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you so much and praying for those snowbabies! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou're so thoughtful! Thinking of you this week and praying for the snowbabies!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful. I'd spin a hundred wheels for you if I could. I hope your snowbabies are thriving.
ReplyDeleteOh cristy...I am thinking of you. I don't know many that deserve this more than you. Hoping you have good news that sticks for a long time to share with us over this next week or two...sending huge hugs
ReplyDeleteHey Cristy, I've been thinking of you. I'm hoping for some good news this Friday for you. Sending you positive thoughts. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHi! I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to send you all my hope and faith that this is your cycle!! I love your fertility socks--they look awesome and I am in awe of your knitting skills! I have a pair of rainbow leg warmers I've had since I was five, that ive always considered lucky. Please let me know if I can include them in this exchange. Lots of baby dust and so much luck to you!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for joining in my little blogHop... and I'm so sorry that it's taken this long for me to get back to you. Only just back on my computer today :( I'm also very interested in Buddhism and find so much peace in their words... so lovely that you thought of us all when you were there. Sorry that I'm behind on your news but wanted to send you a thank you before trying to catch-up. Love to you always xoxo
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