For as long as I can remember, Grey and I have been ying and yang regarding our work. I remember coming home after getting some great experimental results only to learn he had had a fallen out with his graduate advisor. Or me having a terrible meeting with a student only to learn he had finally gotten that one key experiment to work where they could now finish the manuscript he had been working on for so long. Even with this move, my good days with this postdoc were often met with terrible, unfulfilling days for him. Always ying and yang.
This has been on my mind since Friday. The Beats and I have been struggling with a stomach virus, which has resulted in diaper rash for them and me feeling less than great where the sun doesn't shine. We finally got their rash under control, but following a full day on my feet due to an important experiment, I knew I was in trouble.
I woke Saturday morning to severe pain and blood. In tears, I managed to get somewhat cleaned up and packed up for a trip to urgent care. The experience was horrible, with a couple openly laughing at me when I walked in the waiting room because I "looked funny." This followed by a meeting with a PA who was convinced I was making a big deal out of nothing until she got a chance to examine me. Within 10 mins, I had a referral to surgery (which is today), two prescriptions for steroids and a narcotic to help me sleep, instructions on EXACTLY what to tell other urgent cares if the condition got any worse and a diagnosis of a severely prolapsed hemorrhoid.
So what does that mean about Grey? Well, after one week of unemployment, the man had a successful phone interview with a company of interest and they are meeting for a formal interview (CTO, CEO and the team) this Friday. In addition, Grey's dream job came on the radar. And 30 mins after he contacted the hiring manager with his resume, they responded. Grey's got a phone interview on Tuesday.
The man has been giddy with excitement. I honestly haven't seen him this alive from potential opportunity and options in over a year and it is contagious.
On Sunday, while following doctor's orders and not moving much, I thought about our ying and yang relationship. And then I made a deal with the devil. I silently prayed that his dream job comes through, offering to sacrifice living pain-free. Just to finally see my dear husband in this position that he's hoped for for so long.
I know it seems silly. After all, I need to function too. I guess I'm at a point where if it truly a matter of one over the other, I chose for him. Our family needs this. And seeing this excitement in him fills me with hope.
The thing is, I'm so glad that it isn't a choice between one thing or another. I hope you both get what you want and need. But I know I've always felt that it's easier to bear my pain than to see my husband bear his, so I see where you're coming from.
ReplyDeleteHoping for Grey to get this job and also hoping for you to be healing as well - that both of you get what you need. I hear you though that it's easier to deal with my own issues than to see my husband go through tough things.
ReplyDeleteThat couple in the waiting room of the urgent care...ugh! Sorry you had to deal with people like that when you were in such distress and pain.
Wow, that sounds awful...I'm hoping the universe gives you BOTH a break for a change and you can be happy and healthy at the same time. Rest up.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, that sounds just horrific. The prolapsed hemorrhoid, that is... what a scary experience. I hope the surgery goes smoothly. On the converse, I am so excited for this new opportunity for Gray! I hope that he can have his opportunity and you can have your pain-free existence all at once, though. You shouldn't have to trade one for the other. I wish him the best of luck and you a swift recovery.
ReplyDeleteYes, what Mali said. So happy for Grey -- woohoo! And I hope that by now you are already starting to feel relief and healing up from the surgery.
ReplyDeleteAnd phooey on those two buffoons in the waiting room.
Ditto Mali!
ReplyDeleteI remember making deals like this all the time during IF days.... Even though I know it's hooey, it's hard not to think there may be a trade off.
Take care Cristy.... I hope this all works out for you both. Hugs.
Oh, hoping a new job is soon and is great. Also, hope you are healing today.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, that sounds terrible! And for people to not take you seriously... ugh. I hope everything goes well with the surgery. Also wishing your husband luck for his interview! (By the way, I totally forgot to email you about the Beats in their swings! I can't find out how to email you, but you could email me at whoshotdownmystork@gmail.com!)
ReplyDeleteHoping the surgery went well. I wish you both could be on the same happiness plateau at the same time, but barring that, this news for Grey is excellent.
ReplyDeleteOh I hope you feel better soon and I hope Grey lands his dream job. I've had hemmorrhoid problems for a long time and it's certainly nothing to laugh at. I want to have surgery to fix them once I'm done having kids. Let us know how the surgery goes and sending all the best to your family.
ReplyDeleteHemorrhoids... ugh. :p I'm very late but I wanted to send some virtual hugs & I hope by now things are better -- healthwise & otherwise!
ReplyDelete