Wednesday, December 20, 2017


This past summer, Grey and I had a fight about buying a house in the near future. His rational was a simple one: paying rent for the long-term makes zero sense when we would be rooted in an area for careers. My response was one neither of us anticipated, which was an emotionally driven "hell no!" Unpacking it all later, part of it was due to having just sold our condo and being free from a money pit after 11 years. But when we dug deeper, it became clear that the true root was me having zero desire to put down roots in Boston. In my mind we are here for connections and skills, but this area is not home.

It's hard explaining to people why you don't feel a connection to an area you reside in, particularly when they do. I completely understand this given I've suffered at judgement from others almost my entire life when they learn about my midwest origins (many respond with jokes or comments about me having escaped). But the truth is, despite the hope at the beginning, Boston hasn't been kind to my family. Between multiple job changes, a terrible daycare experience and two separate rental dramas that really didn't need to happen, we've struggled. And both of us are at a breaking point with living in an environment that we greatly dislike.

Two weeks ago, Grey reached out to a contact looking to see if there were opportunities at a rapidly growing Next Generation Sequencing company located on the West Coast. Within hours, he had a phone appointment with a former collaborator who was now a director of one of their divisions, Gearing up for that appointment last week, Grey assumed that the conversation would be a challenging one. Instead, this collaborator informed him they had an unadvertised position that he thought Grey would be perfect for. An equally easy phone interview with the hiring manager yesterday left Grey with plans for an interview next month.

All of this has brought my job hunt to a screeching halt. Suddenly one position I interviewed for could be completely off the table while another one now has another level of negotiation. There's also been a rising panic about how all of this could impact the Beats. We finally got them into amazing preschools and I really am worried about uprooting them again.

But the flip is looking out the window at the brown, dying grass with streets in ill repair. Of seeing people drive through STOP signs without even pausing while lighting cigarettes. Of being cursed at this morning while on the bus because I dared to offer a visibly pregnant woman my seat (and the awkward after math when everyone, including the swearer realized what had happened). And suddenly the promise of seeing the mountains again, of filling my lungs with some of the sweetest air and being back in an area that stole my heart all those years ago makes this temporary hardship seem very worthwhile.

So we're doing a 180, with me resetting and beginning to reach out to my West Coast contacts. In addition, I get to have a very fun conversation with one of the potential employers I interviewed with last week. There's literally zero safety net at the moment and there's the potential for all of it to end badly. But Grey and I have also severely suffered for playing it safe and following listening to advice about what we "should" be doing. And there's the promise that this could work out, opening doors and roads for both of us.  


  1. Where you live absolutely has an effect on your sanity and well being. CP and I lived in a fairly rural area for two years when I got out of law school because it was in the middle of our jobs (we each had an hour commute). I HATED it. We were engaged/newlyweds and it was more of an area for older people. There are amazing preschools all over the country and while the Beats may get caught off guard if you head back to the west coast, it's better to do it now before they are in school.

  2. Sending hopes that you and Grey are able to find stability, jobs, and a place you love to live.

    Totally hear you about not feeling "connected" to an area where you live. My husband and I lived for almost 10 years after we got married in the town where we grew up and he was born. I told him for years we were not staying there because I disliked it for several reasons. We never bought a house there (thankfully) and about three years ago moved to larger city about an hour away. Much better. What you're saying here makes so, so much sense.

  3. I very much understand wanting to be connected to where you live. That's a no-brainer for me...but McRuger feels differently. After almost 10 years in the "big city", we are finally out in a small town (near nature) and it feels wonderful...and connected. I wish you the best in the next few months. I hope everything works out!!

  4. That sounds like it could be a good move for you and your family! I hope that things work out with the job searching

  5. Wow. Things can change so fast.

    I feel the same way about Boston. It just doesn't feel like home to me (though I like visiting it).

  6. Fingers crossed for you. It sounds exciting.

  7. I haven't read any further, and so I hate to make a comment that may prove to be completely moot or off-base, two posts down. ;) I will say, however, that we moved around a lot as my sister & I grew up, because of my dad's job. And the older we got, the harder it got, in terms of keeping up with schoolwork (different school districts, different curricula, etc.) & making friends. I know you just got the Beats settled into new schools that you like, but if you're going to make a move, you have a lot more flexibility from the perspective of their interests than you might further down the road. Hang in there!


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