Grit

About a month ago, I found myself with a few days to spend some time completing an online course about personalized learning. One of the speakers was Angela Duckworth, a psychologist who has spent her career focusing on helping children thrive inside and outside the classroom through understanding the development of grit and self-control. I spent a good two days diving into the Character Lab and thinking about how I could apply Angela's work both to my training as well as with my kids.

It's only been recent that I've been thinking about grit in regard to this pandemic.

This past week, California has begun taking steps to reopen and relax the lockdown. Parks have been opening, stores that were previously not considered essential business have been allowed limited reopening, and people have begun venturing out more. With this reopening, I've been seeing a couple of responses. The first, and one the majority seem to generally be practicing, is a measured one, with people easing back in while taking necessary precautions. But then there's the second response, with people not abiding by social distancing recommendations and lashing out at anyone who reminds them of these recommendations. Again, this seems to be a minority, but it exists none the less. And often those who are taking the second route are those who fall into the population that is most at risk to develop COVID-19.

Which brings me to grit. One thing that this pandemic has revealed for so many are ill-prepared for handling life-altering events. For many in the ALI community, we see this directly as others around us either minimize our pain or throw platitudes about "never giving up" while we grapple with having our lives turned upside down. For Grey and me, this pandemic has been hard, but we've approached it with the attitude that we've weathered similarly shitty things. A sentiment I've been seeing from others in this community. Yet for many, this pandemic has been the singularly most traumatic thing they've ever had to face, resulting in mental meltdowns due to a lack of tools and resources those with foundations in grit have developed long ago. There's lashing out and threats of violence from those who see regaining some level of control by refusing to follow social distancing guidelines. Additionally, there's so much out there about depression and grieving, with many struggling to grasp this new normal.

Mali had a recent post that I think gets to the heart of why we are lacking in grit when dealing with trauma. With her focus on admitting in regards to resolving infertility without parenting, the points she talks about are ones that so many could benefit from doing some self-reflection with. Because I think a lot of what is exacerbating the trauma so many people are experiencing is an inability to admit how exactly this pandemic has turned their lives upside down. It's put a spotlight on how unhappy so many are and how little control they truly have in many aspects of their lives. This denial has stifled their development of grit. And it's insanely scary to face that.

The good news is that it's not too late to develop this grit toolkit. Over the past 2 months, I've seen so many articles about processing trauma and grief as well as practicing mindfulness, and Dr. Duckworth's work has been popping into my feeds more and more, meaning this is something people are embracing outside the education world. There's a lot of good that is coming out of all of this. The question I now have is how to grow that grit, helping those around me as well as myself develop this toolkit that aids in weathering trauma.