Friday, February 12, 2016

Pushed back under

It's been a couple of weeks with many critical deadlines. Between submitting a manuscript (hopefully finished today), finishing a review of a manuscript (earlier in the week), completing an application for a summer course (done and waiting for recommendation letters) and submitting homework (more on that one soon), there's been a lot of stress. All week, I've been ignoring the blogosphere and connecting with anyone outside of work with the idea that Friday I would surface from this craziness and rejoin the day-to-day.

Then Grey dropped a bomb and informed me he was fired today.

If I'm honest, this isn't entirely a bad thing. Grey's been very unhappy in this position for a long time, not quitting or job-hunting out of continual warnings that short employment would be a mark on his resume. It's funny how this is so one sided, though, as a company doesn't suffer from the same criticism (unless there's massive turn-over in general). Regardless, their decision that he "wasn't a good fit" has freed him from the obligation of staying in something that was making him hate life.

Still, I want to cry. The fact that we relocated only 5 months ago mainly for my benefit brings a great amount of guilt that I'm the cause for this. There's also the financial reality we are now facing of trying to figure out how bills will get paid while also managing the mountain of debt due to fertility treatments. How will we survive? How will we make it through without losing everything?

Already people are helping. Both Grey and I are already networking and focusing on the fact that a lot of good can come from this. We both have access to resources and others who have navigate very similar situations (quite literally). There's also the mindset we're both in which we learned from infertility, which is to hold fast to one another instead of pointing fingers and passing blame. To be the rock we both need.

Because at the end of all of this, it will be okay. Hell, it will be better than okay. We'll make sure of it.

11 comments:

  1. Oh no I'm so sorry to hear about Grey losing his job. Even though he didn't like the job, it would have been nice to change jobs on his own terms instead of getting fired. I hope that he finds something quickly!

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  2. Its ok christy. Dont despair. Many opportunities will knock ur door soon.

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  3. Oh Cristy, I'm so sorry. :( Even if he wasn't especially happy with his job, it's never fun to be told you're no longer wanted (as I well know!!). Hang in there. Something (something better) will come along, sooner or later...!

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  4. Oh no, sorry things didn't work out for him. I'm sure he feels relieved while streseed at the same time. I wish all the best for you all going forward.

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  5. Oh hon, I am so sorry. And what a frustrating situation. Don't just want to cry; do it. Vent it out.

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  6. I am so sorry -- even if it is not a terrible thing to lose a job you hate, the added uncertainty and pressure of losing a source of income absolutely is tear-worthy. So much pressure, but I'm glad you are both being the rock. That you have gotten through tough times before, and this will also be gotten through, but it does suck now. I hope Grey has the opportunity to find something that doesn't make him hate life, in your same area, and this turns out to be a blessing of sorts. But by all means, cry now, because it is so frustrating to have the hits keep coming. Thinking of you!

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  7. What a shocker. I'm so sorry that you're facing such a big upender. I agree with Mel. Go ahead and get it out, all the emotions. I know you guys will get through this together. May he be snatched up by a better match really soon. <3

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  8. Oh yikes! I love your positive outlook on it, even if it does suck. Wishing you two the best as you navigate this new situation.

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  9. Ouch! so sorry that life is throwing more challenges your way. You will prevail; it's dismaying to get used to an new reality but it can be done. Deep breaths. I also love how you describe maintaining your relationship through adversity: "There's also the mindset we're both in which we learned from infertility, which is to hold fast to one another instead of pointing fingers and passing blame. To be the rock we both need."

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  10. I hope that he finds a better position quickly.

    Mike got laid off about 2 months after my miscarriage and surgery, and it would have been sooner if it wasn't for that. It REALLY hit him hard even though he had been unhappy in the job for a long time. Job hunting had just never happened between all the everything, and the flexibility that the job had had was the one thing he liked about it. He went through a lot of insecurity and depression while he was out of work, but about 2 months after he was laid off he started a new job (that is 2 miles from home, last job was one mile away) that pays more and where his contributions are really valued (as opposed to the last job, where his boss took credit for his contributions and blamed Mike for his own mistakes).

    I do also love how you described the mindset from infertility, because that helped us get through also.

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  11. I am so sorry you and Grey are going through this. I hear you both about the job that wasn't a good fit and also the difficult financial realities that come with a sudden loss like this one. It's a tough place with so many emotions.

    Wishing you and Grey the best in the days to come and thinking of you.

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