Intention

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. 

Listen Hard. Practice wellness. 

Play with abandon. Laugh. 

Choose with no regret. 

Lead or follow a leader. 

Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. 

Do what you love.

Live as if this is all there is."

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

At the end of January, I took the plunge and enrolled in a self-paced computer science course. Scary territory for someone who shuns video games and considers herself a non-rapid adopter. 

I expected to hate it. A course filled with jargon and involving hours of staring at a complier to typing in words and characters with abstract meaning.

Instead I was shocked (and Grey has been all so delighted as this has validated any past and future video game playing) to find myself enjoying the puzzles and logical thinking. The problems and ways of viewing the world.

Or at least I'm enjoying it when I'm not completely lost as to how to complete the lesson and banging my head against the wall.

I'm at the stage of head-banging. I've just finished watching the week's lectures and am about to dive into another problem set. Feeling completely stupid and overwhelmed by new terminology (int main (char argc argv[]); anyone?). I know I need to still do the reading, go through the walk-throughs/short and write out pseudo-code. I also need to lurk on the discussion boards to find suggestions and potential help. Still, I hate this stage of doubt even though I know it's during this period that I'm learning the most.

So I'm practicing mindfulness today combined with some self-compassion. All wrapped up with firm intentions of completing this next lesson.