Wednesday, March 30, 2016


I resemble everyone
but myself, and sometimes sees
in shop-windows
 despite the well-known laws
 of optics
the portrait of stranger,
date unknown,
often signed in a corner

~By the father of A.K. Ramanujan

I'm not a selfie girl. In fact, this is the first time I've ever posted photos of myself on this blog. Part of it is vanity, as I've never considered myself a "pretty girl." Part of it is anonymity, which makes posting photos a no-no.

So why now? Well, the truth is that infertility rarely has a real face. Someone people can look to directly when given a diagnosis. Often the imagined woman (because there's still this myth that infertility is a woman's condition) is seen as homely, ugly from bitterness and terribly disheveled. She's not real.

So in a weird way, this is my confirmation to the world that I, someone who is living with infertility and surviving the storm, am real. I do exist. My flaws, my fizzy hair due to a day of long work, but also me uncensored and unPhoto-Shopped.

Just an ordinary girl. With an unordinary story.


  1. I love this post, hardcore. First of all, to match a face to the person I speak to via email. But moreover, to make concrete the imaginary infertile woman referred to in articles. We're real people with real feelings and real stories.

    A funny side story: I once was seated next to my RE at a dinner and he didn't recognize me. I think he was so accustomed to looking at only... um... one end of me that he never really processed my face. It was really weird having him introduce himself to me, and having to tell him that we actually see each all the time. Just in a very different setting and under very different circumstances.

  2. Great post. Finally we can put our imagination to rest abt how christy looks..:)

  3. Love this post. And your selfies. I had my picture taken once by Megan Joplin for a project called the Miscarriage Diaries. It was empowering to be part of a project that gave infertility a real face. The show is still here if you click on what looks like a broken picture: ... I'm the third one in the series.

  4. Very nice to meet you face to face!

    I think you're beautiful, inside and out <3.

  5. Lovely photos. :) Pensive, but yes, pretty. :) I applaud your bravery in posting them. I have posted a couple of photos of myself on my blog, but you'd probably have to hunt to find them ;) and most of them are older, childhood photos, etc.

    Small confession: I have to admit I always pictured you as a blonde -- maybe because of the Minnesota connection. ;)

  6. What a treat! I've posted only one photo of me on my NK blog - for all the reasons you listed, and yet I finally did it for the same reason. We are here, there's nothing to be ashamed of, and we are real. Brava, you beautiful person!

  7. There is such power in being seen - real people, real stories. So well said! You are brave to take this step - the selfies are wonderful and it's nice to have a face to put with the writing/name!

  8. I love seeing what a blogger looks like, I definitely feel like I know them "better" when I can put a face with everything else I know about them.

    Thanks for sharing even more of you with all of us. You are beautiful.

  9. Love this. I have never been a public sharer and in some ways I regret this. Putting a face to infertility is something we need more of. Thank you for sharing yourself.

  10. I love, love, love this post. I love that you lay yourself bare, even though anonymity is hard with pictures (is that because of reverse image searches?). You look so pensive, but beautiful. I love the thoughtfulness in your eyes. I also thought you were blonde for some reason, no clue why. It's lovely to see the face that goes with the name and the story.

  11. Beautiful post and pictures of you! Thank you for sharing. I suck at selfies...

  12. I love this post. And I like connecting faces with names. I try to stay anonymous too, I get it. Thanks for sharing!

  13. Nice to see your face! I always make a mental picture of bloggers, and I'm quite confident saying I don't picture them as homely, ugly, bitter, disheveled. (Mind you since I don't wear makeup and only occasionally style my hair with more than a few brushstrokes I have a pretty relaxed idea of what it means to be put together). On the other hand my mental pictures are often hilariously wrong! so it's fun to see a real face.

  14. Love this post and great to put a face with a blog. Hope all is well. :-)

  15. I am So, so, so, so far behind in blog land, but as I was scrolling through my reader I saw this post and just had to pop in and say HI! Nice to finally 'see' you. :)


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