Monday, April 2, 2018

#MicroblogMondays: Rants from a cat (moving edition)

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

Dear Humans,

Our mom sucks. Daisy and I had a feeling we were going to be shoved into a plane again, given all the furniture disappeared and we had to have a visit with the evil veterinarian to discuss "pills," but deep down I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't go through with it. 

Then we woke up early on Wednesday morning to an extra early breakfast, only for me to realize too late that the food was laced (Daisy wasn't fooled, resulting in another pill being shoved down her throat). Then we were locked up in our canvas cages, with the humans thinking it was so cute we had our own tags. We officially pee on tags like this.

"Check me out, I'm checked in." is missing "in HELL" at the end.
Equally not fun are the X-ray machines. Any organism who thinks that practice is humane also gets peed on.

But the worst was spending 6 1/2 hours shoved under a seat, having to endure the farts of some stranger while occasionally being placated with head rubs. Daisy and I have survived torture.

Sure, California is pretty peachy. Granted there are less bugs and I miss hearing the mice run through the walls, but there's grass and sunshine and it's been warm.

Plus Daisy and I have claimed new outlooks

Note the lone paw indicating I'm fully stretched out and unconcerned about the humans opinions about my new outpost
Still, this whole moving thing is for the birds. I just want things to calm down and for my mom to get rid of any future ideas of relocating.

In the meantime, I officially have claimed the stairs. Toll to pass depends on how you chose to please me, including chewing out my mom.

With kindest regards (unless you chose to drug me too),
Jaxson Euripides Meowser


  1. Oh, this is perfect! I hope you're feeling as relaxed (or nearly) now as the cats appear to be.

  2. You made it to the other side, Jaxson Euripedes!

    You are a wonderfully funny adventure writer!

  3. Congrats on successfully making it to your new home! Hope you enjoy it!

  4. Aaaahhh, so cute! I feel like my cats would want to pee on everything awful, too. So you can bring them on a plane carry-on? I wondered about that. Congrats on your homecoming, I hope no relocation is in your future, too! Love the high perches they've picked out.

  5. I'm so sorry it was such an ordeal, Jaxson Euripides Meowers, but it looks like your mom brought you to a purrfect place, and your new outposts are pawsitively awesome.

  6. Bahahaha!! Glad the cats survived -- hope you have too! ;) (((hugs)))

  7. Ha ha ha! I love it. Congrats on your house!

  8. I flew with a cat once. Not sure who was more traumatized, me or the cat! As always, you amaze me with what you're getting through!

  9. Loved this post and the new kitty lookouts. Congrats on your new home.

    dropping by from MicroblogMonday


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