Friday, October 26, 2018

Flying solo

Today marks day 9 of a 10 day trip for Grey. Though we've all been keeping busy, all of us are ready for him to come home in order to resume some level of normal.

This isn't my first time parenting solo. When Grey first started his current position, we had 12 days of separation that also involved me flying across the country with Maddy and Teddy so I could do an interview in San Francisco (a story for another time) and from the beginning, Grey would regularly take trips for meetings that would have me alone caring for both kids but this time is different given that Grey is literally on the other side of the globe, meaning that I'm anticipating an additional week of recovery.

In the rare moments I have some downtime, I've been thinking about what it means to solo parent based on access to resources. Many of Teddy and Maddy's classmates have grandparents living with them or nearby, meaning that support is readily available. Though I don't have that luxury, family has been checking in and I was fortunate enough to have Lucas insist on getting together for some time at the park on Sunday. In addition, unlike earlier years, money isn't as tight as it once was meaning that I can afford to hire someone to help with childcare for something of a break. Given it wasn't that long ago none of these resources were available, it's been a bit surreal to think about being in our current situation.

That said, I'm in awe of people who have spouses/partners who travel regularly without them, leaving the other half at home to manage things. There have been so many moving parts on the home front, with me finally making some headway regarding neighbor relations and management. Work still sucks for me, but I've also been interviewing for positions and networking to get into opportunities that could potentially be a better fit. Navigating all of this without Grey around has been doable, but tricky given I'm not advertising he's away (and I don't want to distract him with all the details). It's also been lonely at home in the evenings. Despite Teddy's new routine of crawling into bed around 1 am, I'm feeling the isolation. My whole being is missing my best friend.

One more sleep for Grey before he boards a plane. Two more sleeps for the kids.


  1. By now Grey is back and working through jet lag. I do remember how difficult spouse-travel was in those years. Not only missing a set of hands, but also as you say, missing your partner and best friend. I hope the reunion has been sweet.

  2. I do think that CP traveling was more difficult when the kids were younger. I remember he left when Wes was probably only 3 or 4 months old? I was trying to get Izzy down for bed and both kids were just wailing- Wes because he was hungry and needing to nurse, Izzy because I wasn't paying enough attention to her. The long trips are the hardest- glad you survived!


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