Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Undoing it wrong

I hate job hunting. The sifting through ads, locating positions, tailoring of cover letters and resumes. The hours upon hours spent putting together an application knowing that it will be submitted to the black-hole that is HR where likely it will end up in the "no" pile. All of it is depressing.

And yet, it's necessary. The option of not working is not there for me given that 1) we need the money and 2) a gap in employment is frowned on in my field.

The thing is, I know I'm doing this all wrong. That I'm not utilizing my network as much as I should be. That all of that comes down to a sense of not wanting to bug others or make them feel like I'm using them to get ahead. There's also the pride of wanting to stand on my own two feet.

Despite this, I know very well that jobs come from having connections and an in. Someone who knows someone else that can make something happen.

It's funny how often this works in life. After being raised to value standing on one's own feet and pulling your own weight, I've seen countless examples how false this thinking is. Those that ask for help tend to be more successful with finding both opportunities and solutions. It's certainly been the case with infertility and yet there's a voice in the back of my head that is beating me up for engaging. A judgement about how I'm bothering others into doing something I should be able to do on my own.

Today, I'm owning this and attempting to undo all I've been doing wrong. I'm attempting to ignore those voices that scream at me as I send some of those first emails. In addition, Grey and I will be sitting down where I'll be getting a crash course on connecting with recruiters. Praying the whole way I'm not offending anyone and that they'll answer me.

It's time and I know it. I just wish there was a way to undo all the negative chatter that's going on in my head.

1 comment:

  1. Oh no, negative chatter is the worst. This is a skill I teach my students -- asking for help is NOT a weakness, it is what you do if you want to keep moving forward, if you want to figure the things out, if you want to get unstuck. A lot of my students associate asking for help with not-knowing, or weakness, or looking stupid or needy, and a lot of times if they would just ask for clarification it would eliminate a lot of confusion and poor outcomes on tests and quizzes and assignments. It can be so awkward to put out your network feelers, to ask for help when it comes to job hunting or recommendations or whatever...but you're right, so much is about who you know, being in the right place at the right time, getting info on a position that's about to come open, and while being qualified on your own merits is super important, sometimes you don't get the opportunity to prove how qualified and awesome you are if you can't get your foot in the door.

    Shush, Cristy's inner chatter! Hoping you find something amazing, and get those spiderwebby networks out there.


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