Autumn Sock Exchange

It's been a rough week. On top of craziness at work and on the home front, Grey and I are sick. Like needing 16 hrs of sleep sick.

Then I woke up this morning and received amazing news from my good friend Shelley. I've known Shelley for 2 yrs and we've both been on this journey together for too long. To hear good news makes my heart soar and I'm am beyond overjoyed for her.

So, riding this wave of hope, I'm hosting another Fertility Sock exchange.


Background: The idea is not my own and those who are not familiar with them should read here and here.  I have added one change to this exchange: it is open to anyone touched by infertility/loss. Though the original idea was to have something interesting to wear while in the stirrups (either as a conversation starter or to keep your feet warm in style) I've come to realize that fertility is not limited to the ability to conceive and carry a pregnancy to term. Far from it, as I'm now met too many who either are still in the trenches or have resolved either through adoption or choosing to live childfree or successful treament who live fertile lives. Sometimes far more fertile than those who can easily conceive. So, whether you are newly diagnosed, preparing for treatment, in the thick of treatments, pregnant after IF/loss, parenting after adoption/IF/loss, in the adoption process, made the decision to live childfree, or simply stuck at the crossroads (like me), this exchange is for you.

Here are the rules:
1) Leave a comment below to let me know if your interested. This exchange is open to anyone who has been touched by IF/miscarriage/infant loss, be it you're currently in treatment, preparing for treatment, recently diagnosed, pregnant after IF, parenting after IF, pursing adoption, living child-free or even supporting someone dealing with IF.

2) Once you've received your recipient's names, please contact them within 24 hrs. Recipients, please response within 24 hrs too. This is incredibly important so that everyone has all the necessary information. For those who will be difficult to contact, please leave an additional comment with your contact information. I will not publish it, but it will help with making the connections.

3) Socks do NOT need to be handmade. Again, when I originally started doing this, I did it because I'm a crazy knitter who in addition to wanting to give something that was handmade also uses knitting as a form of therapy. Please do not feel that you need to learn to knit, crotchet or sew in order to participate. And there are some amazing sock stores out there.

4) If you can no longer participate in the exchange, please contact me immediately. Yes, life happens and unseen circumstances can require you to focus your energy elsewhere. (Trust me, I get it.) But please don't leave your recipient hanging. I'm more than happy to reassign, as long as I'm aware that you can no longer participate.

Deadline for participation is Sunday October 14th. I'll post a reminder as the deadline comes closer.

Ready, Set, Socks!

Okay, here's the list. I decided to try pairing everyone off, as last time it gave everyone a chance to get to know their partner. Remember, all participants need to contact their partners within the next 24hrs. If you do not hear from your partner(s), please leave a comment here.

• Toni @ Who is the "Fertile Myrtle?" and Trisha @ theelusivesecondline
• Alicia @ Queen of the Slipstream and aglimpseinsidemyjourney @ A Glimpse Inside
• Leslie @ The Journey Through Life . . .  and Teresa (Leslie, please leave a comment and I'll send you Teresa's contact info. Teresa, please visit Leslie's blog)
• Elizabeth @ Bebe Suisse and Lola @ Waiting for Baby
• Amy @ Dwelling on Dreams and Kristin @ Return to Go
• Hapa Hopes @ Hapa Hopes and EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow
• readyformymiracle @ Ready For My Miracle and marisa s (readformymiracle, please leave a comment and I'll send you Marisa's contact info. Marisa, please visit readyformymiracle's blog)
• Shelley @ Tales from the Waiting Room and Amanda @ Reading Each Page
• Lindsay @ Tiny Bits of Hope and Emily @ A Blanket 2 Keep
• AG @ Zritel'nitsa and Court @ Our Pathway to Parenthood (AG, Court is currently in the hospital with severe OHSS. She has provided me with her contact info, so leave me a comment and I'll send it to you,)
• Rochelle @ for all the things we hope for and StacyLee @ Conceptionally Challenged
• And finally, a three way split: Her Royal Fabulousness @ Waiting for little feet and Alexis @ Our Journey Through This Lovely Life and Stork Chaser @ Dog Mom Chasing the Stork

Summer sock exchange list

So, about that reminder. Yeah. Been a bit distracted lately. But, we have a list of participants. Please check over it and let me know if I missed you or if you want to be taken off.

One final note: based on the comments, I'm thinking of renaming these as "ALI socks" instead of "Fertility socks." Thoughts?

Here's the list:

• Toni @ Who is the "Fertile Myrtle?"
• Her Royal Fabulousness @ Waiting for little feet
• aglimpseinsidemyjourney @ A Glimpse Inside
• StacyLee @ Conceptionally Challenged (thanks for the shout out StacyLee!)
• Leslie @ The Journey Through Life . . . 
• Shelley @ Tales from the Waiting Room
• Lola @ Waiting for Baby
• Trisha @ theelusivesecondline (Trisha, let me know if you're still interested. Toni wants to be paired with you)
• returntogobaby @ Return to Go
• Rochelle @ for all the things we hope for
• readyformymiracle @ Ready For My Miracle
• Emily @ A Blanket 2 Keep
• Hapa Hopes @ Hapa Hopes
• AG @ Zritel'nitsa
• EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow
• Elizabeth @ Bebe Suisse
• Teresa
• marisa s (Marisa, please send me your contact information)
• Amanda @ Reading Each Page
• Lindsay @ Tiny Bits of Hope
• Alicia @ Queen of the Slipstream
• Stork Chase @ Dog Mom Chasing the Stork
• Amy @ Dwelling on Dreams
• Alexis @ Our Journey Through This Lovely Life
• Court @ Our Pathway to Parenthood

Please let me know ASAP if there are any changes. Also, if for some reason your exchange partner is not responding, please, please, PLEASE contact me. Infertility/Loss is hard. Feeling left out of a sock exchange is just salt in the wound.

Summer Fertility Sock Exchange

Alright ladies, I need a distraction.

I've recently been getting lots of comments/questions about Fertility Socks. Again, the idea is not my own and those who are not familiar with them should read here and here.  I will add one change to this exchange: it is open to anyone touched by infertility/loss. Though the original idea was to have something interesting to wear while in the stirrups (either as a conversation starter or to keep your feet warm in style) I've come to realize that we all could use a reminder that we are not alone, be it we are starting our journey, in the thick of it, or resolved and living with the memories.

Here are the rules:
1) Leave a comment below to let me know if your interested. This exchange is open to anyone who has been touched by IF/miscarriage/infant loss, be it you're currently in treatment, preparing for treatment, recently diagnosed, pregnant after IF, parenting after IF, pursing adoption, living child-free or even supporting someone dealing with IF.

2) Once you've received your recipient's names, please contact them within 24 hrs. Recipients, please response within 24 hrs too. This is incredibly important so that everyone has all the necessary information. For those who will be difficult to contact, please leave an additional comment with your contact information. I will not publish it, but it will help with making the connections.

3) Socks do NOT need to be handmade. Again, when I originally started doing this, I did it because I'm a crazy knitter who in addition to wanting to give something that was handmade also uses knitting as a form of therapy. Please do not feel that you need to learn to knit, crotchet or sew in order to participate. And there are some amazing sock stores out there.

4) If you can no longer participate in the exchange, please contact me immediately. Yes, life happens and unseen circumstances can require you to focus your energy elsewhere. (Trust me, I get it.) But please don't leave your recipient hanging. I'm more than happy to reassign, as long as I'm aware that you can no longer participate.

Deadline for participation is Wednesday June 27th. I'll post a reminder as the deadline comes closer.

Been here before

Transfer day. A day that everyone going through IVF/FET waits for with baited breath. Since my last miscarriage, I haven't really allowed myself to think about this day. Partly because I've been grieving the loss of my last pregnancy. Partly because I've been scared to think there could be a different outcome. Over the weekend, both Grey and I have struggled with finding hope for the cycle; seeing a positive outcome. Grey especially has had a hard time, since a co-worker recently gave birth and now his workspace is filled with images of her and her new daughter. Happy for the co-worker, but in pain from the reminder of what we've lost.

On Sunday, a phone conversation with MissConception and reading Dandelion Breeze's recent post, snapped me back to reality. On a side-note, if you haven't already, go send these women some love. The news of Dandelion Breeze's most recent IVF/PGD cycle not working is heartbreaking. MissConception is still working through grief from the loss of M&A while trying to embrace her little Raspberry.  Both of these women are amazing and inspiring individuals, but they could use the extra TLC right now.

What I was reminded of (directly from MissConception, too) was that despite the grief of loss, there can be hope. Dandelion Breeze's suggestion of finding non-traditional therapies reminded me that despite the fact that nothing is really changing during this FET on the medical end, there have been lots of chances for this cycle. I started seeing Dee regularly to work through my grief. Grey and I started putting together our adoption plan. I started acupuncture (which I love!!!). This cycle is during summer break, meaning I'm a bit more relaxed. And Grey and I are on the same page. Even though we are both struggling, we are struggling together.

The end result of all of this was the realization that I needed to lower my guard and openly admit some things. I can't be continually steeling myself for the worst, as it will negate any possible good from coming from all of this. So Monday evening, I set out to prepare for this FET.

I started by sitting down and making a list of things I hope for. This may sound silly, but I've spent a lot of time focusing on what I fear. Fear of a BFN or another miscarriage. Fear of never being able to carry a child to term. Not once since April have I allowed myself to be hopeful for this cycle.

The truth is, I want this cycle to work. As much as we've been preparing for adoption (a route we now know we will be taking no matter what), I want to carry Grey's child. I want my embryos to survive the thaw and to become pregnant, but I want more than a BFP. I want to see a heartbeat, to watch my belly grow, to have my husband hold this body while it is carrying his child and ultimately to see a baby with Grey's eyes and my nose.

In addition, I started doing things to help my body prepare. I quit caffeine when I started the Crinone (for some strange reason, progesterone makes being caffeine-free easier for me), I started the Circle+Bloom program again, I've been loading up on water to counter the effects of the Doxycyclin and I bought a pineapple. Actually, I bought two. Grey used the first one to make Pineapple stir-fry. I have no idea if pineapple actually helps with implantation, but pineapple is in season so it can't hurt.

I've also been trying to distract myself. Reading has helped with this and I need to pick up my knitting today. The night before the FET, I made pies. Probably not the best activity at 10 pm the night before FET, but I needed a distraction.

Strawberry Rhubarb with a buttermilk pie crust

And finally, I packed Polaris. I no longer care what people think about me carrying this bear.

My security blanket

Tuesday was a packed day. My first acupuncture appointment was at 9 am, so Grey and I were up early to make sure I had everything that I would need for the day. Following the appointment, which helped relax me like never before, we stopped by a local French bakery to pick up some tarts for the clinic staff. After working with all of them for so long, I figured we were long overdue for a thank you gift.

And then it was time to go downstairs to prep for the transfer.

Socks from Tami-Scrabble at Submerged. Everyone got a kick out of them

Finally, the embryologist was ready with her report. And to my astonishment, we learned that our two 3AB embryos had survived the thaw and one had been upgraded! So we were transferring a 4AA and 3BB.
*No photos this time. The University decided the clinic does not need a camera to photograph embryos.


The rest of the day was spent promoting implantation. Following the second acupuncture appointment which was immediately after the transfer (and which I managed to sleep through), I spent the rest of the day on the couch trying to out-sleep my nurses.

Movement is not an option

Today I'm home again, taking it easy. Despite everything else I *should* be doing, MissConception words of wisdom of "being a Mommy to these snowbabies" has been foremost on my mind. And with the news that they managed to survive despite the odds, I'm taking it as a sign that I need to do my part and give them every possible chance.

Somehow, someway, I'm finding hope again. Despite the fact that we've been here before, I'm praying for a different outcome.

Spring sock exchange

Let's get this show on the road!!


For this sock exchange, we're going to do things a little bit differently. Last time I paired everyone off, but this time I thought we'd try a round-robin. 


Here's how it will work: below is the list of all the participates, indicating who will send socks to whom. Once you have your "people," contact them to exchange information. Please do this no later than Sunday. If you have not heard from your people by then, please leave a comment here. 


Again, socks do not need to be handmade, but anyone who wants to is encouraged.


Here's the list:

• Mrs. Green Grass @ Baby-Making Merry-go-Round sends to Lora @ Hope Delayed
• Lora @ Hope Delayed sends to Jenny @ Sprout
• Jenny @ Sprout sends to wannabeayummymommy
• wannabeayummymommy sends to Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples
• Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples sends to with just a little help
• with just a little help sends to Inconceivable!
• Inconceivable! sends to Emily @ The Empty Uterus
• Emily @ The Empty Uterus sends to StacyLee
• StacyLee sends to Kechara @ Notes from the Ninth Circle
• Kechara @ Notes from the Ninth Circle sends to Janet @ Just a Little Off Kilter . . . 
• Janet @ Just a Little Off Kilter . . . sends to Trisha @ The Elusive Second Line
• Trisha @ The Elusive Second Line sends to EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow
• EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow sends to Leigh @ My Hormonacoaster
• Leigh @ My Hormonacoaster sends to Lola @ Waiting for Baby
• Lola @ Waiting for Baby sends to InfertileFirstMom
• InfertileFirstMom sends to Detour
• Detour sends to sunnyside up @ how do you like your eggs? fertilized . . . 
• sunnyside up @ how do you like your eggs? fertilized . . .  sends to meggola
• meggola sends to Lindsay @ Tiny Bits of Hope
• Lindsay @ Tiny Bits of Hope sends to Chickenpig @ Better Full Than Empty
• Chickenpig @ Better Full Than Empty sends to Veetamia @ Lovely Transitions
• Veetamia @ Lovely Transitions sends to Syringe Sisters
• Syringe Sisters sends to Still Sinking @ Sinking in a World of IF
• Still Sinking @ Sinking in a World of IF sends to Babysocks @ Our wish for a baby
• Babysocks @ Our wish for a baby sends to Lori @ Wanted: Family of Three
• Lori @ Wanted: Family of Three sends to Regular Van @The Family Van
• Regular Van @The Family Van sends to DandelionBreeze @ A Year On . . . Our New Beginning
• DandelionBreeze @ A Year On . . . Our New Beginning sends to Emily @ a blanket 2 keep
• Emily @ a blanket 2 keep sends to TraceySue @ Journey to Somewhere
• TraceySue @ Journey to Somewhere sends to Tami-scramble @ Submerged
• Tami-scramble @ Submerged sends to KH @ Tied Together With a Smile
• KH @ Tied Together With a Smile sends to Cristy @ Searching for our Silver Lining
• Cristy @ Searching for our Silver Lining sends to HRF @ Waiting for Little Feet
• HRF @ Waiting for Little Feet sends to JM @ Meier Madness!
• JM @ Meier Madness! sends to Mrs. Green Grass @ Baby-Making Merry-go-Round

Let the exchange begin!!

Spring fertility sock exchange list

First off, welcome to those here from ICLW!  For background on fertility socks, I recommend you read this post, this post and this page.

Here's the list for the sock exchange so far. If I missed someone or if you want to participate, please leave a comment. The list will be closed on March 22 (I know I originally said March 21, but figured I'd give it one more day).

-Trisha @ The Elusive Second Line
-Regular Van @The Family Van
-Veetamia @ Lovely Transitions
-Jenny @ Sprout
-HRF @ Waiting for Little Feet
-Emily @ The Empty Uterus
-Kechara @ Notes from the Ninth Circle
-TraceySue @ Journey to Somewhere
-InfertileFirstMom
-Babysocks @ Our wish for a baby
-Still Sinking @ Sinking in a World of IF
-EmHart @ Follow Every Rainbow
-Chickenpig @ Better Full Than Empty
-Syringe Sisters
-sunnyside up @ how do you like your eggs? fertilized . . . 
-Janet @ Just a Little Off Kilter . . . 
-Detour
-Mrs. Green Grass @ Baby-Making Merry-go-Round
-Lola @ Waiting for Baby
-KH @ Tied Together With a Smile
-JM @ Meier Madness! 
-Lindsay @ Tiny Bits of Hope
-Lora @ Hope Delayed
-Emily @ a blanket 2 keep
-with just a little help
-wannabeayummymommy

Socks = hope

I've been meaning to have a follow up post on fertility socks for awhile. For those of you who are not familiar with them, I recommend reading this post as well as this page.

A lot has happened since the first sock exchange. More than I could ever have imaged. Yet through it all, my life has been filled through my interactions with everyone in this community. And so, in an effort to spread the love and support, I propose a second fertility sock exchange.

Here are the rules:
1) Leave a comment below to let me know if your interested. This exchange is open to anyone who has been touched by IF, be it you're currently in treatment, preparing for treatment, recently diagnosed, pregnant after IF, parenting after IF or even supporting someone dealing with IF.

2) Once you've received your recipient's names, please contact them.

3) Socks do NOT need to be handmade. Again, when I originally started doing this, I did it because I'm a crazy knitter who in addition to wanting to give something that was handmade also uses knitting as a form of therapy. Please do not feel that you need to learn to knit, crotchet or sew in order to participate. And there are some amazing sock stores out there.

4) If you can no longer participate in the exchange, please contact me immediately. Yes, life happens and unseen circumstances can require you to focus your energy elsewhere. But please don't leave your recipient hanging. I'm more than happy to reassign, as long as I'm aware that you can no longer participate.

Deadline for participation is March 21st. I'll post a reminder as the deadline comes closer.

I'll end today by sharing with you the socks I received.

First set is from Toni at Who is this "Fertile Myrtle"

Toni sent an explanation with the socks: To the Egyptians, the frog was a symbol of life and fertility, since millions of them were born after the annual inundation of the Nile, which brought fertility to the otherwise barren lands. Consequently, in Egyptian mythology, there began to be a frog-goddess, who represented fertility, named Heget (also Heqet, Heket), meaning frog. Heget was usually depicted as a frog, or a woman with a frog's head, or more rarely as a frog on the end of a phallus to explicitly indicate her association with fertility.

That, and it's hard not to smile when looking at these guys. Thank you Toni!!!

The second set is from a friend from an online forum.

On top of being comfy, the message is loud and clear. Thank you Nicole!!


Finally, my third set from Grey.

As I've mentioned before, we have Anna's hummingbirds that have been wintering with us. Following the D&C, these little guys were one of only a handful of reasons to get out of bed (note for anyone with hummingbirds: they are very particular about their food). I still remember Grey laughing for the first time while watching these small animals chew me out after I allowed their food to freeze. They are my symbol of hope.

Finally, I'm leaving you today with an image that warms my heart.

Let's get this show on the road!

I have vacation brain. I should be preparing for the upcoming semester, clean the house and reflecting on 2011, but instead I've found dreaming while curled up under the covers to be a formidable temptation. So, again, I apologize for my laziness and not getting this out sooner.

Here's the list for the sock exchange I have to date:

1) Kelley @ Ready For My Miracle
2) Her Royal Fabulousness @ Waiting for Little Feet
3) JustHeather @ BattleFish
4) Our Life in Cycles @ Living Our Life in Cycles
5) Still Hoping @ Hope Delayed
6) Chanel @ Just Waiting for My Turn . . . 
7) Kayla @ Life is Simple, It's Just Not Easy
8) Toni @ Who is this "Fertile Myrtle"?
9) Belle @ Scrambled Eggs

The exchange will continue to be open to anyone who wants to participate (just shoot me an email), but it's time to get this show on the road.

For transparency, this is how I've assigned "sock exchange buddies." I used a random list generator found here to randomize the names and then paired people off based on names that were next to one another.  Once you know who your buddy is, contact them to exchange shoe size as well as contact information. Again, socks do NOT need to be handmade, but I know all of you have a creative streak, so pick out something special. Let me know if you don't hear from your buddy within the next few days.

So, without further ado, here's the exchange list:


Kayla and Her Royal Fabulousness


Still Hoping and JustHeather 


Our Life in Cycles  and Belle 


Chanel and Kelley 


Cristy and Toni 


Good luck!

Fertility socks, part deux

A few posts back, I proposed a fertility sock exchange. The whole point being that it would be a way to support one another while we're on this journey. I haven't forgotten about it, I've just been distracted.

Anyway, this is the current list:

-Kelley
-Rebecca @ Life of an Army Wife
-JustHeather @ BattleFish
-Our Life in Cycles @ Living Our Life in Cycles
-Hope Delayed
-Chanel @ Just Waiting for My Turn . . . 

If you're not on the list and want to be, please let me know in the comments section. Similarly, if you're on the list and don't want to be, let me know too.

I'm hoping to set all of this up in the next couple of days, with instructions for how to make all of this happen.

Fertility socks

As mentioned in a previous post, I'm a knitter.  A chronic knitter.  Keeping my hands busy calms me and helps me process.  Knitting has been a life-saver during treatments, especially in the waiting room.  Gee, the doctor isn't here yet and will be 30 mins late, no problem!  I'll just work on the next 10 rows.

About a year ago, just prior to starting the whole fertility work-up, I found a website talking about Fertility Socks.  The whole concept is genius: a pair of socks is sent to those going through treatments so that while they're in the stirrups they have a conversation piece as well as a reminder that they are not alone in this journey.  There's one problem, though: the creator Emily is swamped with requests while donations have been low.  The site has been down for a while, too.


Last February, I decided to put my knitting skills to use and I knit my first pair of socks.

I had been following the recipient's blog for a while and was my way of saying thank you as well as offering support.  She told me later that she worn them to every visit and I'm happy to report that she's expecting.

A month later, I knit another pair for a lady in my mind/body group.

  

I wasn't as excited about these, but apparently she likes them.  Her twins were born last month.

The final set was for another woman, who had just suffered a miscarriage following IVF#1.  

I found out later that she worn them during FET, which resulted in a BFP.  

As I've been reading your blogs, it's dawned on me (sorry, I'm a bit slow) that a number of you are starting treatments in January.  As much as I would love to, there's no physical way that I can kick out socks for all of you.  But I do know that what has kept me sane while in the stirrups has been a small collection of mementos from those who have been cheering me on.

So, I propose a fertility sock exchange.  Socks don't need to be handmade, nor is this exchange limited to those currently undergoing treatments, so anyone who is interested can participate. All that matters is that you pick out a pair for a fellow IFer and send them to them.  I have no idea on exactly how to organize this (and it someone does, please chime in), but the first bit of information is who's interested?!?!  Once I get a list, we can work out the details of how to do (Mo's Chocobuddy system would be a great model . . . I just need to ask her for permission to use her idea).