I remember the first couple of months of TTC. Like most women, I was fairly confident that I would be pregnant within a couple of months of trying. After all, infertility was unheard of in the women in my family. As time wore on, though, I started to become wary of HPTs. The anticipation of seeing that second line or only seeing the word "pregnant," began to be replaced with a sense of dread.
Today is 8dp5dt and I have yet to POAS. Originally the plan was to take an HPT yesterday so that we would have some resolution before my birthday, but when it came time, I couldn't. The anxiety of seeing only the one line and then having to wait until Wednesday to follow up with a blood draw was just too much. As much as I want to know, the rollercoaster ride that would ensue following the event isn't something that my heart can take.
I think I'm in the minority with this issue. Over the past couple of weeks, I've read many posts about follow IFers posting HPT result after HPT result. The anxiety I feel from reading these posts has made it difficult to follow a lot of these blogs and I've felt a lot of guilt for not being able to be more supportive.
Tomorrow morning, I go in for my beta. I will also bit the bullet and POAS. There will be tears for sure. And shaking. And so much anxiety, praying, bargaining with the universe. But not today. Today I'm trying to hold on to this feeling that Grey and I have done everything we could.
Addiction to Prediction
11 hours ago
Keeping you in my thoughts :)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and praying that tomorrow brings you joy.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you! There were months where I would have bet my house that I was pregnant. The anxiety/excitment would keep me up at night. I would usually POAS in the morning and it would be negative - to add insult to injury by noon AF would show up. I actually hate POAS and unless I am actually late - I vow to never do it again! Hoping tomorrow brings you what you wish for!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you - I have stopped POAS pretty much. It is just too much. I am crossing my fingers for you.
ReplyDeleteI really hope that you get a good beta result. I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteAfter my last little episode of POAS, I vow never, ever again.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if your feelings are in the minority, I just think your self control is better than most! Thinking of you! Best of luck!
ReplyDeletePraying you get the best news ever tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm totally with you about POAS. My first 2 completed IVF cycles I did it and was a complete and total wreck (and actually got BFNs on the tests, but was pregnant nonetheless, although those pregnancies didn't survive). After that, I stopped POAS cold turkey and it makes the process SOOOOOOOO much easier. This way there is just one day of all that emotion...no more sobbing on the floor day after day with negative HTPs, which can't help the situation, you know?
Fingers crossed for you!!!
Hugs...
I totally get what you said about POAS. It's not worth the anxiety. You're in my thoughts in the last few days, and I'm totally crossing my fingers for you!!
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck my friend. I know how waiting for that result feels. I'll be standing by.
ReplyDeleteMissC
You have such willpower for not home testing yet. You are my hero. Crossing my fingers for you tomorrow. I hope this is the cycle for you.
ReplyDeleteCristy, I'm thinking about you and Grey this morning and hoping you get some good news.
ReplyDelete~Keisha~
I hope you get the best of news today. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think most of us vets have PSD PTSD to some point. I know I have spent many a morning staring and unable to decide where to pee while my bladder just about burst. I generally cave though.
Fingers crossed you get good news today!
ReplyDeleteAs time went on, I too POAS less and less. Not that I did it that much to begin with, but.. This last IVF cycle, I waited until the day the clinic said I could test. I was so proud of myself. :)